so many questions, no real answers.....

I must admit. I have been absent in my bloggin lately. absent, but hopefully not forgotten. I post and then delete it not really sure if I have said too much. Where is that fine line between being truthful and honestly posting about what is going on in your life and whoa is me? I recognize how fake blogs are that never post problems cause we all got em. Sharing hurtful and painful stories is necessary to really get to know each other. It's just so much easier to read someone else's pain than to write about my own.
I do READ your blogs, I just have not really been sure of what to post myself. See this is one of those make or break, will she or won't she times in my life. I will admit I don't know what I am gonna do? I am just trying to get through this week.

I have been called a quitter (sp?) by walking away from a situation that was spiraling downhill.I have been called a drama queen by reacting to having my feelings hurt. I have been called MANY other choice names that I will not share because quite frankly, it's not too christian of me to repeat. While I do admit to the drama queen label, much to my chargrin, I don't really want to be one. I just am! sorry folks.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, I have NOT been staying at my house due to a very horrible and potentially relationship shattering argument my husband and I had. The things he said to me went straight to the very core of all my insecurities and doubts I have about myself. Hence the past couple of "I am lost" posts.

Just how much "fixing" do you leave up the other person? When you really feel like you are trying. I just feel that he is not ,nor does he want to listen or SEE what I am doing to try. And if he is trying, I don't see it. So maybe he just doesnt SEE me trying either? What if your values and priorities are just not lining up? I want so badly to have gotten it right this time, but what if I did'nt? Don't you just know that you should be together or not? Do you really have to work that hard to like someone? This is such a bad feeling.

So excuse me for not posting, I just don't feel very talkative right now.