thank you Nola's friend

i went to my friend Nola's blog and intended to leave her a comment for her 150th post but was really overwhelmed by the poem her guest blogger posted. How delicate and loving it is, really the definition of the kind of mommy i want to be remembered as being (verses the complicated, crying, sad mommy i am right now) and it really touched my heart. Made me go kiss by babies and tell them i am here and i will be the best mommy i know how to be....despite myself.

TEA FOR THREE


Come and sit with me and we'll have tea
And talk of things that were and things that are to be
Of places we will go and things that we will see
Just the two of us
My dear daughter and me


A little wooden table
With chairs for two, not three
Yes, of course you may bring your bear
And place him on my knee.
No longer just the two of us
It's tea for three, I see
My dear daughter, the bedraggled bear and me


The years passed by and you grew up
Framed in memory, I still see
Cherub hands dimpled daintily, clutching ivory cup of tea
Twinkle laughter owns the moment
Baby faced and full of glee
Starshine dusted by the angels
Oh, God's precious gift to me!


If I live to be a hundred
I shall never richer be
Then when I shared your dazzling presence
And together we sipped tea.
My dear Daughter, the bedraggled bear, and Me!
~ Lee Scott

i'm still alive

i type, then i delete. every day i have done this. i just don't have words right now to really honestly describe the sadness i feel. sadness, void in my heart and just numbness that is taking over my life.
i have found some overwhelmingly great friends i did not know i had, listening and just plain being there even though others have told me how "bad" they are for me. i have made some great friends through this blog that inspire and are just say "i am here" and that lifts me up (thank you Nola and Amber W). and then i have found the friends i thought were thick and thin that just judge and condem me,that can't understand and just don't want to see how bad it really is, and i just hit the ignore button on my phone

i can't deal with that now.

so i start a new job tommorrow. i will wake up and go to work and get through the day somehow,, like i do every other day. sorry i don't have much to say hopefully that will change soon.

no words

Just for today
I will not worry what tomorrow will bring, no
I’m gonna try something new and walk through this day
Like I’ve got nothing to prove, yeah
Although I have the best intentions
I can't predict anyones reactions
So I’ll just do my best
I'll put one foot in front of the other
Keep on moving forward
And let God do the rest

I don’t know what’s gonna happen
That’s alright with me
I open up my arms and I embrace the mystery
I don’t know what’s gonna happen
That’s alright with me
I open up my arms and I embrace the mystery

Just for today
I’m telling the truth like it's going out of style
I'm gonna swallow my pride and be who I am
And I don’t care who don’t like it
I feel the fear but I do it anyway
I won't let it stand in the way
I know what I must do
There’s no guarantee that it’ll be easy
But I know that it’ll be fulfilling
And it's time for me to show improve

It’s okay not to know
Exploration is how we grow
It’s ok to not have the answer
Cuz sometimes
It’s the question that matters

I don’t know what’s gonna happen
That’s alright with me
I open up my arms and I embrace the mystery
I don’t know what’s gonna happen
That’s alright with me
I open up my arms and I embrace the mystery

no i didn't!!!

okay, so these are things that DID happen to me this week so far but like everything else in my life right now i am doing this post backwards...

no i didn't....walk into my bathroom and find my SON wearing a aqua green ruffly skirt without his diaper trying to figure out how the tampon applicator works.all i could say was "ummm, son??!!"

no i didn't....hear my Emory talking to Isaiah about making their fort in the living room while they were scouring my house for props to build it with. she said "just work with me here little boy, is that asking too much"

no i didn't....buy twilight at midnight on the day it came out, for my daughter (and we have watched it 5 times so far)

no i didn't....play outside in a mud puddle with my kids after it had rained (i forgot how much fun it is to squish in it, i have spent so much time trying to get them to stay clean... so it felt good to just not care)

just some random stuff trying to fill the time while i figure out what i am gonna do with the rest of my life when i grow up.

thoughts for today while going through this "poo" time

When I am not doing something that comes from deeply within me, I get bored. When I get bored I get distracted and when I get distracted, I become depressed. It's a Natural resistance, and it insures your integrity. Marie Irene Fornes

loved this when i read it on NOLICOOL. i tell you, her blog not only has pictures of one of the cutest pigtail wearing little ladies usually in some colorful costume, but she is just so lovely to listen to. So full of fun memories (playing dress up, baking and days at the beach swimming, everyone all smiles) and sweet gestures (making amazing quilts for Peyton and dream catchers made out of butterflies and birds hung above Scout's bed) what a great mom she is!!! it shows in every post. And if you can tell that by reading a blog you know it just shines to those lives she touches in the real day to day of life. and i love it that when she is talking about something not so pleasant she calls it poo. wish i lived in the United Kingdom!!!

as you know by now i am depressed. i try not to just dwell on it because then i will stay that way. i did register for school so i will soon be on my way to becoming an EKG technician (never thought i would be saying those words but here i am) it's funny how things happen, really terrible things. but they end up being just what you needed. i never would have wanted this for myself. to say i am divorced and all that my kids will be going through soon, but while i find myself sad, it is the idea of being divorced that i am sad at. not sad at the marriage ending. i think that is telling.

i believe that you can tell someone's true character and faith in the way they handle a crisis.so it's not that i am not hurting or feel like a failure, in a lot of ways i do. but i want to be a better me. i want to like myself again and i want my girls to see that.....

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; [2] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Cause i do have a sense of humor right now

If you open this,FILL IT OUT! Learn 45
things about your friends,and let them learn 45 things about
you! Tag the person that sent this plus others.



1. Do you like blue cheese?
with my hot wings

2. Have you ever been drunk?
I would have to say...yes

3.Do you own a gun?
no...and my husband is very thankful for this

4.What kinda of Kool Aid was your favorite?
not a Kool-Aid girl

5.Do you get nervous before a doctor appointments?
nah.....had too many of em

6.Favorite Christmas movie?
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

7.What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Orange Jucie

8.Can you do push up's?
What is that? if that means can you push yourself up from your pillow in the morning the answer is sometimes

9.What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
a ring i got from a boy that used to love me

10.Favorite Hobby?
sleeping

11.Do you have A.D.D.?
most always

12.What is your favorite shoe?
my house shoes that my mom got me from the tractor supply store.....love em

13.Middle name?
Irene

14.Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1.)where is my son, he is too quiet 2.) i need a job 3.) when am i gonna wake up?

15.Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
orange juice, r and r, dr. pepper

16.Current worry?
me, myself and I

17.Current hate?
divorce

18.If you could write a question what would it be?
What did I do to deserve this?

19.How did you bring in the New Year?
Kissed Kaileigh which i have done while watching Dick Clark for the last 11 years

20.Where would you like to go?
honestly, my parents house

21.Name 3 people who will hopefully complete this?
i have no clue

22.Do you own slippers?
I'm a sock person.

23.What color shirt are you wearing now?
black

24.Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
no desire...

25.Can you whistle?
sure

26.Favorite Color?
purple or blue

27.Would you be a pirate?
maybe for a day

28.What songs do you sing in the shower?
right now "I'm Moving on" by RAscal Flatts

29.Favorite Girl's name?
Kaileigh or Emory

30.Favorite Boy's name?
DAniel, Isaiah, Adam or Alan

32.What is in your pocket now?
nothing at all

33.The last thing that made you laugh?
Emory....always

34.Best bed sheets as a child?
Strawbery Shortcakes...or the crazy hippy ones with the sunflowers that i shared a room with my sister

35.Worst injury as a child?
stiches my brother had to get cause i slammed the gate into his head (but in my defense he was chasing me with a knife over a twinkie he wantted)

36.Do you love where you live?
no and it is changeing soon

37.Who is your loudest friend?
Elaine and i love her to death

38.How many dogs do you have?
2...oh wait, do husbands count?


39.Does someone have a crush on you?
I hope so!

40.What is your favorite book?
The Bible...I am actually understanding it a lot now

41.What is your favorite candy?
whopers)

42.Favorite sports team?
I hate sports

43.What song do you want played at your funeral?
I was here by Lady Antebellum

44.Are you thirsty?
kinda

45.If you were going to be stuck on a desert island for 10 years who would you take with you?
my kids and my ipod- or I would not be stuck!!!! Trust me. I would die trying to swim to them wherever they may be...

I

Day 2 of the rest of my life

So i started the day by waking up late and getting Emory up and ready for school and then taking her to school.....LATE (which is a mortal sin for all good mommies) Of course in my defense, i don't usually take her to school and Dan does (but apparently that has changed, since we are no longer together, he, i guess has decided he is no longer her dad and has no responsilitlies of her) i will have to learn the rules of the new me and my life.

i got through the day by forcing myself not to stay in bed all day. Cause you can't really do that when you have a two year old running around painting his toenails (and your furniture) with your 11 yr olds blue nail polish or stripping himself of his diaper and running around your living room just looking for a spot to pee in.Don't you love parenthood?

i picked up the kids and we did the whole sonic cherry limeade, grilled cheese sandwhich picnic on the trampoline, building forts in the living room fun and then i was pooped and just made them go away......as much as you can make 3 kids go away (which consisted of me getting in the bathtub and hearing them come to the door every 5 seconds and scream MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY) so very relaxing huh!

after the kids faked going to bed ( i am ignoring the giggles) i talked to my sister and brother (which did not help) i don't want to be told it will be okay or why are you letting him kick you out of your house? i just want to pretend it is not really happening.

cause honestly i think i have known for awhile it not working. but i was so caught up in the way we looked and that i had FINALLY made a good decision in my parents eye's that i just overlooked the fact that we have nothing in commmon and have no passion anymore. we had kids.....and that is not enough
but i do grieve for them. not that they know it yet but it will be a whole new ball game soon and i don't know how to be the pitcher. i only know how to catch.

please pray that i find a job soon. and a place to live (that would be nice) and please pray for me to find some peace,,,,,








br>

it's really not that bad guys

So i realize if you don't know me you might think i am going through a really rough time. and i guess in ways i am, but in more ways than bad it is a light at the end of the tunnel (if that makes any sense) But honestly i don't think it has sunk in yet. i have always been the one that thrives in new beginnings and to me that is what this is. If something is not working i think you have to just try again. and i have always said i am a better me when i am single. marriage is alot of work. and it either works or it doesnt. am i wrong to not want to stay married to a man who does not want to be married to me? i hope not. i know that some will say i am quitting and giving up. but really i have been trying for a year now....a WHOLE YEAR...that's a lot of trying and crying and praying and changing. i just don't have it in me anymore.

so i am just gonna be me. and pray that if that is not enough that he can just go be him. and i can't say that i am heartbroken about that....yet. i have grieved for my marriage for so long that i just can't grieve right now. but when i am all moved out and moved on that might be a different story.

i went to "talk" to my parents about the REAL situation. i have covered up and fibbed about how happy we are and what a great guy he is because i thought it would work iteslf out. They knew i had left a couple of times but they had no idea it was to this point. i don't know if i even knew it to tell you the truth. but right now i just know it is over. i know there is no going back or fixing it.
and to tell you the truth i am tired of begging for it to be fixed only to be ignored and overlooked and pushed aside. it does take two does it not?

so don't be sad for me. you can pray for me that i find peace and acceptance and have the wisdom to make the right choice in a time that is filled with lots of decisions to be made, life lessons to be learned and growth as a human being and a mommy. i am a flawed woman with lots of faults, but i do have 3 reasons to make it okay. to go on and to be better because of it.

Friend Making Mondays...is it that time already???

Woooo....is it Monday already? I guess so.
And i have to say this is my favorite post. i love friend making mondays!!!!! cause who couldn't use some more friends??? today it is a game of question and answer. so here goes


Answer honestly!

What is your blogger name?
Wendy


When is your birthday?
Feb. 2


How long have you been blogging?
not sure??? i will have to go back and look (do i get points deducted for not knowing that?)


Who tagged you?
Kasey


Tell me your five most favorite body parts.
Seriously?
my eyes (cause all my kids got the same eyes and we always get compliments on how pretty they are)


What do you wish most for your birthday?
ugh....i honestly hate getting presents for myself. i feel guilty
but i love purses, rings and books if that helps


What color are you nails right now?
ahhh natural...with maybe a trace of kid boogers.. (gross i know but it said answer honestly)


Have you had any depressing thoughts lately?
well, since i am getting divorced and am homeless and jobless, it's a wonder i have not committed bodily harm to myself yet...but here i stand


What’s your plan for the next month?
ummm....job, home, divorce.


At what age did you have your first crush?
in kindergarten i was going to marry David Knolevicah


Have you attended any school reunions?
too many kids to do that


Have you ever passed gas in public and pretended like you didn’t smell anything?
i can say proudly no, i hate gas and will hold it till i am green and passing out. but you would never know it.


Are you a clean freak?
no, i am a slob

What era do you wish you were born in?
okay with what i have to work with

Are you a vegetarian?
NO NO NO NO NO

How many pillows do you sleep with at night?
as many as i can wrangle away from whoever is in the bed wit me

Are you a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper?
depends

Do you secretly wear granny panties when your man is not around?
this will be a too much info answer for you. but in the context of answering honestly i have to say i dont wear panties and only own like 2 pairs (neither of which are comfortable nor would i want to wear)

What is your ultimate dream job?
teacher, i think


What does your husband do that annoys you the most?
since i am getting divorced...he breaths


What is your dream car?
Lexus Suv


Do you wake up easily in the morning?
heck no...never

Do you like hairy men?
ummmmjm. no

How about a man with a goatee?
still no

Which would you prefer: a two-hour spa massage, a two-hour Thai massage, or a two-hour foot massage?
spa massage totally!!!

Have you ever wished you had a different name? If so, what name?
nope,

What is the most extreme sport you have ever done?
childbearing

Do you prefer traveling in Europe or Asia?
have not done either

What is your favorite food?
anything with chesse or sour cream

What is your most embarrassing moment while out on a date?
this will be boring cause i can't remember

You can just copy and paste my questions and answers onto your blog and then erase my answers and fill in your own!



Can't wait to get to know you all better! Happy FMM!!!

in all fairness

Okay, so as an update for you Real Housewives of New York fans, i posted Ms. Gold-digger....i mean Ms. Gretchens website link so I, in all fairness, must post Simon and Alex's site hopefully he will not post pictures of himself without a shirt on (cause that would make me nauseous) but at least they don't have a clothing line or book to pimp....yet.

so anyway, a more revealing post is soon to come, explaining what is going on in my crazy world (and it's life changing soul searching change) just to hard to talk about right now.

and if you have not yet, sign up for my Favorite Things swap go to the post and read up on the details, it is painless and fun and the more the better....

repenting...and i stalk my own blog

okay, so yesterdays post was kinda harsh so i need to back up a minute. i don't wish anyone a break up and having been through the whole thing at 19 i knoe Bristol must be heartbroken. i just wish her mother had been a little less vocal about the whole thing when she announced Bristol was pregnant. i do believe that you should never judge (at least not where people can hear you) because you WILL come back around to a time where you yourself do something others can judge. so you just should not do it.(unless it's a celebrity and your jealous then by all means, make yourself feel better any way possible)

okay, so i am a hypocrite. but i wish i did not judge (and that it was not so much fun to do) does the fact that i try to reserve judgement for celebrities and not "real" people make it any less mean?
didn't think so.

i recently added a live feed to my blog to tell me who comes by and i will shamelessly cop to the fact I STALK MY OWN BLOG. i can't help it, it is so great to click on the view blog tab and see who is checking me out. plus i have some blogs marked on my blog list that i do not follow so it is an easy way to read up on what they are up to. so there, i have repented and owned up all in one day.

as for my weekend,i am getting ready to go to ft.smith to "talk" to my parents. i have my speech prepared and my talking points all ready to debate and am expecting to be vicorious! oh yeah, and i need to look for a place to live. long story and i will update when i can expound more.

didn't see this one coming

As a teen mommy myself it comes as no big suprise for me to read this story just now. I will reserve judgement and comment and keep it to myself (as much as i dislike Sarah and would love to sing na na na na na na i won't)here is said story:

Alaska (March 11) — Bristol Palin, the teenage daughter of Gov. Sarah Palin, has split from her fiance Levi Johnston, who is the father of her 2-month-old baby.
Johnston, 19, told The Associated Press on Wednesday that he and 18-year-old Bristol Palin mutually decided "a while ago" to end their relationship. He declined to elaborate as he stood outside his family's home in Wasilla, about 40 miles north of Anchorage.
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's teen daughter Bristol has called it quits with Levi Johnston, the father of her 2-month-old son. Johnston said on Wednesday that the couple, shown here at the Republican National Convention in September, mutually decided "a while ago" to go their separate ways.
He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the Internet, were inaccurate.
Bristol Palin said in a statement issued through a spokeswoman for her mother's political action committee that she was "devastated."
"Unfortunately, my family has seen many people say and do many things to 'cash in' on the Palin name," she said. "Sometimes that greed clouds good judgment and the truth."
SarahPAC spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton did not immediately respond to requests for clarification.


The two teens are the parents of a boy named Tripp, who was born Dec. 27.
Sarah Palin revealed her daughter's pregnancy just days after being named John McCain's running mate on the Republican presidential ticket.
In an interview that aired on Fox News last month, Bristol Palin said her fiance saw the baby every day and described him as a "hands-on" dad.
The two had said they were considering a summer wedding.
It's unclear what led to the split. "It kind of just happened," a source close to the couple told PEOPLE. "I thought they would stick it out. But I think they can work together to raise Tripp."
Levi Johnson's dad, Keith Johnston, recently told the magazine that his son is a devoted and "proud father."

i really enjoyed the part about greed clouding good judgement.....hmmmmm?? was she talking about her ex or her mom? oh wait, i said i would not express palin opinions here so retract that last statement. in other news. really ticked my tv did not record the last few seconds of Grey's. so now i have to watch it online. ugh. thank heavens tomorrow is friday

FAVORITE THINGS SWAP

So awhile back I participated in the most fun little pick me up courtesy of my friend SARAH over at IT MIGHT SEEM CRAZY BUT WE CALL IT LIFE(the name kindof stuck out to me, clever don't you think?) so anyways, she had this fun little swap idea and i decided to do one of my own.
here are the guidelines she used and if something is not broken, why fix it. here is what she says.....

It's cold and in some places snowy outside.. everybody is waiting on spring.... how about something fun to do. Besides what girl doesn't like shopping and receiving packages!
Favorite Things Swap
This swap will work a little different then the last one. Below is all of the info needed!
1)Leave a comment informing me that you have joined the swap. The sign-up deadline will be March 25th

2) Send me an e-mail wendyiarrington@yahoo.com with the following information

Name, mailing address, blog address, e-mail address,

3) Purchase 4-6 things that are your favorite and put them in a box

Ideas: Book, magazine, food, make-up, recipe, notecards, pen, gum, candle, chocolate, coffee, nail polish, lotion, kitchen tool, .......

4) You will receive an e-mail from me with your swap partner and all of her information

5)Delivery date for packages April 10th

please make sure it's postmarked by the April 7th so your partner gets her box on time


If you want post about the giveaway on your blog so more people can join in on the fun!

The more the merrier. I did this in January and it was a complete blast. My partner was Jenny over at The McClure Family I got cool things like soft lips, a groovy chic scarf that my 11 yr old tried to confiscate, a spoon from Texas (i collect them stop laughing), a cookie cutter that cuts the crusts off my sandwhichs (BIGGG hit with Emory we use it almost everyday), some neat scrapbooking stuff, and then I got a pack of reuseable tote bags and a living green for dummies book (two things I never would have bought for myself but really am learning to enjoy them)

what was funny to me was that she included a postcard from Texas (and i sent her one from Arkansas with out even knowing we had the same idea) i made her a cd, and had to include carmex which i am addicted to. i put some other little things in there and it was so much fun to do. I would say about $20 to $25 is good and you should include things you love and it doesnt have to be about the money, it should be about the thought. a used copy of your favorite book, a recipe, a postcard with a cool or inspiring quote, a magnet. so many fun things that you can include and i can tell you first hand IT DOES MAKE YOUR DAY.
so send me your info and then pass the word around.What a great way to make bloggy friends! Sarah had 40 people in her swap how fun is that!

quiz

This is a real test given by the human relations department at many of the major corporations today.
i took it and really was suprised (my results are in bold) maybe i do underestimate myself but i figured i would score 51 to 60 range, not 40. but that is cool, i am okay with that.


It's only ten simple questions, so... grab a pencil and paper and keep track of your answers.



1. When do you feel your best?

a. In the morning
b. During the afternoon and early evening
c. Late at night

2. You usually walk

a. Fairly fast, with long steps
b. Fairly fast, with short, quick steps
c. Less fast, head up, looking the world in the face
d. Less fast, head down
e. Very slowly

3. When talking to people you

a. Stand with your arms folded
b. Have your hands clasped
c. Have one or both your hands on your hips
d. Touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e. Play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with

a. Your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b. Your legs crossed
c. Your legs stretched out or straight
d. One leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with

a. A big, appreciative laugh
b. A laugh, but not a loud one
c. A quiet chuckle
d. A sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you

a. Make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b. Make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c. Make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. Do you..

a. Welcome the break
b. Feel extremely irritated
c. Vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?

a. Red or orange
b. Black
c. Yellow or light blue
d. Green
e. Dark blue or purple
f. White
g. Brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie

a. Stretched out on your back
b. Stretched out face down on your stomach
c. On your side, slightly curled
d. With your head on one arm
e. With your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are

a. Falling
b. Fighting or struggling
c. Searching for something or somebody
d. Flying or floating
e. You usually have dreamless sleep
f. Your dreams are always pleasant






Points:

a b c d e f g
1 2 4 6
2 6 4 7 2 1
3 4 2 5 7 6
4 4 6 2 1
5 6 4 3 5
6 6 4 2
7 6 2 4
8 6 7 5 4 3 2 1
9 7 6 4 2 1
10 4 2 3 5 6 1





Now add up the total number of points.

Over 60 points: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care" You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 to 60 points: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 to 50 points: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 to 40 points: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 to 30 points: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

Under 21 points: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Kelly Bensimon pulled a Chris Brown

So recently i stumbled across this article about KELLY BENSIMON She is the newest (and most boring) housewife to be added to Real Housewives of New York



I could say many things about my opinion of her, none of which are christian or kind so i will save most of them. i do think she looks like a man though ( did not say that, i agreed with McMommy-she said it first). And what is up with the addition of all the NON-housewives? Doesnt the name imply you are marred (i.e. houseWIVES?)

It can't be for the drama factor cause the married chicks seem to be wayyyy more diva-ish, claws and fangs displayed and ready to get it on than the single ones are. But it never fails, there is one token single party girl every season.

And speaking of NON-Housewives good ol GRETCHEN has her own website. Complete with all her coming in 2009 projects like makeup,t-shirts, and lingerie. And it is hysterical to me that she has an O magazine on the header of her website. Not too sure what to think of the blog post of the eulogy she wrote for Jeff's funeral though.



She is very pretty, don't get me wrong, i just don't like her. kinda like my feelings for Kelly. especially since she pulled a Chris Brown on her 10 years younger boyfriend.

i kinda figured i would read about stuff like this coming from those Atlanta chicks. that show should be on VH1 not bravo. but you know i DVR every episode so who am i to complain???

FRIDAY FRAGMENT...IN A LIST

i just love posting in lists....so today's post was kind of fun for me. something about not having to think enough to make full sentences or follow any type of order that is theraputic. my therapist would make some big insightful observation about that so i will just save that for later. for now, on to my list....

it is a friday fragment post. i will admit that lately i have been meloncholy and really down on myself. so my friday will be full of fragments of things that make me laugh or that make me happy..... i will do my top ten

NUMBER 10.)Danel Isaiah-i especially love it when he says he wants to watch hoohee(goofy) and meme(minnie). Or when i go to check on him at night to make sure he is in bed asleep and he tells me groggily "no hobby mommy" telling me please don't make me sit on the potty anymore.

NUMBER 9.) Emory Caron- This little girl with her neck snapping, finger shaking, hip girating, prison or president attitude is almost too much for me sometimes. She is definately paying me back for my raising and gives my mother countless reasons to laugh hysterically at me. but i think i will keep her around anyways purely for the entertainment value.

NUMBER 8.) Kaileigh Shay- really had to grow up with me, i was a kid with a kid. And to my suprise she is just amazing. full of heart and compassion and kindness (except towards her sister)she is a really good person and i would hope i had just a little to do with that (and it gives me hope for the other two

NUMBER 7.) My husband Daniel-sometimes i actually like him as much as i love him. and despite myself he loves me too.


NUMBER 6.) My godbaby mama-yes that is what we call each other. She has saved me from myself more times than anyone and i dont acknowledge her enough.


NUMBER 5.) books (of all kinds) right now i would recommend without hesitation:




NUMBER 4.) MY BLOG (SHAMELESS plug but it's true, it is a contant source of fulfillment and amusement for me)


NUMBER 3.) There is something to be said for the girl who has gotten me in (and out) of trouble for the last 18 years. Not all my friends have gone through the revolving door and this one has definately been through alot with me.i promised never to publish online the pic i have of her with her hair ratted skyhigh and wearing the bodysuit and hoop earrings she would not take off in 7th grade, so this pic will have to do


NUMBER 2.) small i's. i hate to capitolize my i's.always have and always will and i know it drives people nuts (my English teacher mother for one) but i don't care. i love it....

NUMBER 1.)VH1
as i sat in my bed feeling sorry for myself most of this week, i realized how much time i spend watching this ridiculously trashy and hilariously funny- void of meaningful content tv station. I unashamedly (is that a word) watch it and constantly, not just from time to time. dont get me wrong, i watch other stuff that a normal person with a brain and morals watches. but these shows just crack me the heck up. and since they have like two people that make their shows up for them they are all the same but i can't help it, there is something about watching two not so well dressed ..ummm females? pulling each others weaves and wonderbra stuffing out over a man with 13 kids, ashy skin and a hugh clock around his neck. not quite the bachelor i know but loads more fun to watch.
man, that was a long ode to something that really means less to me than all the thing on my list but anyway, you get my point i like VH1


so there you have it. my friday fragment post. most of these were not a shocker as i post the same list basically each time i have to do a list on my favorites but oh well, it took up a full post and i am not whining about how sucky my life is so it's all good.