Monday, April 27, 2009

Friend Making Mondays

So I am actually going to get to post a Friend Making Monday post ON Monday!!! I feel accomplished (until I look at my messy house and to do list that is) but anyway, back to FMM. If you don't know what Friend Making Monday is visit here and Kasey over at ALL THAT IS GOOD will fill you in.

This is how it goes:

“5 Senses Tag”
We are to list 4 things we love, and one thing we dislike, for each category.

1. Yankee Candles, the clean scents that is (flowery scents, not so much)
2.Newly lotioned up baby skin
3. Fresh air coming in through my windows (until my allergies kick in and I am sneezing, blowing my nose, and convinicing my kids no mommy is not crying)
4. Going over to my mom and dad's and walking into their closet and smelling one of them. Sounds weird I know but it is such a comforting familiar smell and as I get older I really appreciate and miss that feeling.
1. How my kids smell like a wet dog after they have played really hard

1. My son's baby blankets. The chenille-ee feeling ones with the silk on one side and the bumps of the raised material on the other. Especially when he is in my lap and I am rocking him to sleep.
2. The feel of water when you get to go swimming for the first time in summer
3. I love to play in the rain (especially in the evening when I have had a long day) It feels good to not care, to just let the rain fall on me and dance or spin or jump on the trampoline (okay, so that sounds very immature I know)
4. Clean Sheets. I love when I put fresh sheets on the bed and then crawl's the best!
1. Cleaning the sink after washing very dirty dishes. I can't even telling you what looking at all the food wet, squishy and mixed together does to me. UGH

1. Hearing a small child mispronounce (sp?) a word.
2. The sound of my children's laughter. You know, the big belly laugh
3. Rain (are we seeing a pattern here) on my window
4. A slow sweet song that means something to me
1. This is a tie between whining and the sound of electricity flowing through the light bulbs in a public place (like the health department or when I was in Jr. High)

1. strawberry banana smoothies from Sonic
2. Cottage cheese
3. homemade mashed potatos with lots of butter and sour cream and cheese
4. Dr. Pepper after I have not had any to drink for awhile
1. peas. vomit!!!!!

1. grass, leaves, flowers, anything that grows newly in Spring
2. sunsets, stars, clouds and rain
3. half off or buy one get one free signs
4. My kids when they do something for the first time, especially when they figure it out on their own
1. Harm done to children. It breaks my heart (even if it is fictional in the movies) I think that is the worst thing you could ever do, hurt a child

There you have it! All 5 Senses covered: Good and the bad!

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be A-ok....

all my bills have all gotten paid
i saved the bad, i broke the bank
this could have been a slow song
a laundry list of all the wrongs
but at the end of the day
this is my beautiful disaster piece I’ve made
and it goes, and i quote, and i never would lie:

i don't understand the numbers
but my faith is in the math
and the odds are all this pain will even out in the end
and we'll look back and laugh

and to all the hearts i've broken
and the ones that once broke mine
i've got suspicions all will be forgive in time
all you gotta do is call them up and say:

this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be A-ok....
this will all make perfect sense someday
there’s got to be a reason for the rain

and if it ever gets bad, i mean really bad
i'll move to Nova Scotia and forget the life i had
be up at nine each morning down by the shore
collecting things that fell off boats in storms
Okay, so i might never but it’s nice to know the options there
the options there...

this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be A-ok....
this will all make perfect sense someday
there’s got to be a reason for the rain
a reason for the rain, a reason for the rain
the reason for the rain, for the rain

and it doesnt help that i keep biting my lip in the same place

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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

i know this is my second post but i have to, bear with me

So after I read Kasey's post over at ALL THINGS GOOD, and then I went to MY CHIHUAHUA BITES and saw her post I decided to join in on the fun. so hear goes my FRIEND MAKING MONDAY, DONE ON ALMOST WEDNESDAY post


In order from 5 to 1 here goes. Keeping in mind I totally stick to character so I will refer to them as how i see them in my fantasies people....

NUMBER 5 is Travis Barker
yes, I know he is completely covered in tattoos and looks like he has not showered in days, but I am kindof into that in some unexplained way. plus, i have always liked a bad guy with attitude and I loved "Meet the Barkers"

NUMBER 4 is Lucas Scott
Even though in real life Chad Michael Murray is a two timer who prefers 19 year old girls remember I said I STAY IN CHARACTER and Lucas Scott loves Peyton and is a good guy at heart, and he is a hot is that :)

NUMBER 3 is JASON MORGAN from General Hospital
Okay, so he is not with Sam which is a HUGE reason I fast forward through most of my DVR'd episodes stopping only for the scenes with the two of them in it. They are supposed to get back together so my faith in soaps will be restored if and when that happens.....

NUMBER 2 was really hard for me. I feel a little torn here guys. but i am going to go with EDWARD CULLEN
Notice that once again it is all about the character. I love this mysterious smooth intense creature. Rob, not so much.

NUMBER ONE may seem an odd choice, but it's JOHN MAYER
I have this thing for a man that can sing. I think it is admirable that I chose a not so hot guy as my number one. My baby's godmother will appreciate that in ways that might allow her to forgive my other choices (ha ha, huh Syard) I just have this thing for the singing my own angst thing. might be the depression talking, but I have the songs "comfortable" and "in repair" on repeat right now

so there you have it, my top 5. i think i am seeing a disturbing pattern in guys i am attracted to right now. and it is kind of scaring me.......

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colors in Spanish and snot nose kids

Today i was at work, preschool graduation is coming up and we are busy getting ready for the singing of the colors in Spanish, and counting from 5 to 100 by 5's and who could forget "see you later alligator, see you later friends of mine, we had a great year give a BIG cheer, we sure had an awesome time" (sung to Ol my darlin).

all those things that make parents think their kids are ready for kindergarten. And don't get me wrong, my kids are ready (most of them anyway) I am not too sure about the glue eating, nose picking, give me that toy or i will hit you with a wooden block bully but that is another story. Is it wrong of me to wish that one of these days one of the kids grows some cahonas and just whacks him up the side of the head with the wooden xylophone sticks???

bad teacher bad!!!

Anyway, back to my day. We were filling out the ALL ABOUT ME papers that will go on my bulletin board with cute little cap and gown pictures and I had one of those moments that made me completely tear up. I will admit, I have a favorite. This petite little boy that looks like he is 3 years old he is so small, but has a beautiful face that reminds me of Isaiah is my favorite. His name is Abhinar (pronounced ABI, dont know how that is possible but that is how they say it) He speaks with an accident, his family is from India. I just love the heck out of him. He is so adorable. He speaks with a stutter and his volume is so soft you have to bend down to hear him. And maybe that is why he likes me, because I alwasy bend down and let him talk, however long it takes. anyway, we were filling out his page and we got to the question "What is you favorite things about coming to school" and he said
"my teacher"

Well, I have not been there that long so I thought he meant my aide (who has been there awhile) or the floater that comes into the room cause they all love Mr. Johnny. and then he looked up at me with those big brown eyes and sad clearly "YOU"
I teard up. I was just so taken aback. I tried to get him to name several other things "don't you wanna put Ashton (his BFF) or the blocks or the big slide outside?" no, he said, you.

Can you beat that?

Not for one second do I take for granted that I get to go to work and teach 28 most prized posessions. I spend more time with them than their own parents do if you think about it. And I would be heartbroken if I thought my kids were sitting in the back of a room somewhere alone and pushed away.

So even if they are snotty, stinky, mean, dirty, potty mouthed, telling me they hate me and don't have to listen to me because I am not their momma I am gonna give them a hug (and trust me, sometimes I do want to shower afterwards but they deserve it, they are just kids and deserve love too)

okay, that sounded not so nice but it is the brutal truth from your childs preschool teacher. We do notice if their pants are too small and their nose is covered in snot. but we love them anyway!!!!

my rant is done, my day was good, tommorrow is my day off (thank heavens, those kids were horrible today)

goodnight yall,

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Sunday, April 19, 2009

doing my part to go green

i had this crazy idea that buying new stuff for when i move into my new house would help get me out of this funk i was in. So i went to Wal-mart and spent money i do not have on new bedding for the kids (cause they do need it, and that does not count as spending money on myself right?) i decided since i am starting over i am going to try to start new habits. and what better habit than to go green (i feel like kate on Jon & Kate plus 8, minus 5 kids and the HUGE house and tv cameras)The bedding is 100% organic cotton designed to sustain the health of my kids and our planet. pretty snazzy sounding huh! That they are adorable and were on sale played little part in my splurge :)

my first ever green purchase was this and i can't wait until my youngest 2 kids are forced to share a room cause their beds will be so dang cute.

this is Emory's bedding

close up of the design

and this is little mans bedding

close up of his design

what i love most is that it is not matchy matchy, which i tend to do. I just want their room to be a place they want to go hang out (and i would not be able to come up with descriptive words for how i would feel if they would actually SLEEP there!!!) it's a good thing they like each other though cause if my older daughter had to share a room with anyone other than her Twilight posters it would alter the course of her life, she would start wearing black, have every piercing she could and blame me for ruining her life....... she is sooo my child.

but anyways, now i have the bedding. just gotta find the house. wish me luck K

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Saturday, April 18, 2009

grey skies are gonna clear up...put on a happy face

after a hard week being depressed there is nothing like the chuckle i got after seeing this face,

crash into my bedroom saying dobeeee dobeee dobeee dobeeee........cheeks working overtime and giggles making it hard for me to understand the sounds coming out of his mouth.

and than we have miss thing,

who cannot for the life of her understand why Cameron Diaz's best friend in "What Happens in Vegas" punches a man "in his privacy momma"?????

so if you can imagine the GREAT mood i am in!!! Kids are WAYYYY better than antidepressants (though i do love those too)

i changed up my playlist a bit. found some new artists to brood over. Aqualung, Damien Rice, Lisa Hannigan and my latest crush John Mayer. i have found that i really enjoy the music that you dont hear on the radio. The stuff i have to dig for online and just stumble on by accident. the moody, complicated, chord striking lyrics of someone who writes their own words and sings their own pain. Nothing like a hard time put on display for the rest of the world to suffer alongside.

love it! love it! so anyways, my weekend is not all that bad so far. too bad it is too dang short.

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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

don't you love swiping from other people's blog posting??? Thanks for the insight Nola's cousin Kristy

"Could you let down your hair and be transparent for awhile,
To see if you’re human after all?
Honesty is a hard attribute to find when we all want to seem like
We’ve got it all figured out
But let me be the first to say that I don’t have a clue
I don’t have all the answers
Ain’t going to pretend like I do
Just trying to find my way, just trying, the best that I know how…
…Well I haven’t memorized all the cute things to say
Maybe I’ll master this art-form some day
If I quote all the lines off the top of my head
Will you believe that I fully understand all these things I’ve read?

"trying" by lifehouse

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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

the bride wore a noone

so i took a break from my tweenie bopper obsession with twilight Pictures, Images and Photos

and watched this instead
c,m,c,s Pictures, Images and Photos

made me wonder who of my friends (past and present) would fill the circle of amazing ladies that make up Carrie's crew. of course i would be Carrie since it's my fantasy....
i think this is a good pic of me don't you think
carrie bradshaw! Pictures, Images and Photos

this would be Elaine..and she just had the new boob job to prove my point
Samantha Jones Pictures, Images and Photos

and here is what BJQJ would look like...Charlotte has nothing on her
charlotte york Pictures, Images and Photos

as much as she will hate reading this, Syard is my Miranda
MIRANDA Hobbes Pictures, Images and Photos

but without the red hair and big clunky necklace oh yeah, and Syard is not an attorney. but close enough to hear her argue a point

and what would i be without Shawnda
Willie Garson / Stanford Blatch from Sex & theCity Pictures, Images and Photos

okay, so it a bit odd that i would cast her as Stanford Blatch, Carrie's not so heterosexual friend, and no insult intended, but i was refering to the way he is up to date on all things trendy and how he always seems to be Carrie's sidekick when she needs him.okay, foot in the mouth but i stand by it. Thank the lord i am not a casting director

and now, who would my big be???? i don't know that i have found him. or maybe i have and i just don't want to say......hmmmmmmmmmm

between sniffles i found myself grabbing my journal to write down quotes (i did not know how much i missed doing this since the show has gone off the air but i really love this chick and my, since i am her in my fantasy...wisdom) here are some of my favs.

Carrie Bradshaw: Life-fantasy-friendships-real Pictures, Images and Photos

carrie bradshaw quote Pictures, Images and Photos

some of my most faves do not have fancy schmancy i will just type them out here their words are enough

why is it that we are willing to write our own vows??? but not our own rules?

and then this one made me cry

some love stories are not epic novels,
some are short stories....
but that does not mean
they are any less filled with love.....

maybe i had it all wrong, maybe my marriage would have worked out if this had been what i was after.....
manolo blahnik Pictures, Images and Photos

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Monday, April 13, 2009

Friend Making Mondays

Welcome to another Monday full of Makin' Friends! Aren't friends great!?

You can go Here for info and the rules of FMM. I hope you will join us to make some bloggin' friends. Because believe me: There is no better place to make some great ones than right here at FMM! Can I get an AMEN!

It's been awhile since i did a "normal" post instead of my i'm getting divorced angst posts. So this is a nice break. Now onto the topic.

What is the Best Advice someone has ever given you? You can share one or as many as you want. Just Share!:

Here's mine:

One day while riding in the car, my 6 yr old (who was 4 at the time, i think) asked me if i remembered what the yellow care bears name was. i asked her "don't you remember?" and she said, "no, i don't have a very good remembery", but that's okay if you don't remember all the stuff all the time, right?

i am applying that now. i don't have to remember all the little things, it's the big things that count. like how i felt raising Kaileigh on my own all those years ago, the pride that i could do it without a man (cause look what happens when you get one of those huh? LOL)

and how i feel this enormous swell of awe at how intelligent, funny and creative Emory is. how everyone loves her and just wants to be around her cause she is so dang funny.

and i could never forget the flutters my heart makes when Isaiah comes up to kiss my cheek or the cute things he says (like "no Hobby mommy" when i want him to sit on the potty"

those are the things i choose to remember.

and i love this quote that someone gave me as a form of advice. it rocks!

“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will.”
Edward Everett Hale

i am ending with a quote i have heard a zillion times best describing the philosophy of my god baby mama (long story, that's another post)

she says "if you do what youve always done, you'll get what you always got"

aint that the truth

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Saturday, April 11, 2009

yesterday at work was fun. did the whole easter egg hunt/party thing and not just the kids had a blast. i wish i could bottle up their pure enjoyment of the little things in life. when the biggest diasaster is Ashton taking Connor's center pass and put his own in its place. Then he sees how upset Connor is and puts the correct pass in the spot and tells him sheepishly "sorry"
i hate having to deal with seeing my husband not wearing his ring, short sales of my house forcing me to move this month, and having to finally sit down and tell my kids....not so much fun even though i am looking forward to finally getting on with it. (whatever IT is)

i went out last night. not to a club but just to a bar. i actually dressed up and looked like a girl for a change and it was nice to be around other people my age. i did not stay long, as it just is not the same (guess the fact that i am not 21 anymore is very obvious to me right about now) but it was fun all the same. Heading to Fort Smith tonight to stay with my parents where we will no doubt have to talk again about my situation AGAIN.....sounds fun huh

oh yeah, i almost forgot. this is not a great pic. i will post better ones soon but here is my new "Hairycut" as Lillian called it

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Thursday, April 09, 2009

hairy cuts, refusing to sit on the hobby and big girl panties

Today i actually had a chuckle or two. Got to school (albeit i was late, but i can't blame that on the divorce i am always late) and i got lots of ohhhs and ahhs for what Lillian calls my "hairy cut" my kids actually like the 4 inches i cut off (and Aiden said i am "so Pwetty now")

gotta love you some five year olds huh (especially since i get to give them back)

i heard Isaiah down the hall screaming "no hobby" which cracked me up (that is his way of refusing to go POTTY and it felt good to hear that it's not just me he does that to)

then i was playing catch up on my blog reading and actually laughed out loud (sending my nosey 11 yr old into my room to see what the unfamilar sound was coming out of my mouth) was reading Nola's blog and she was explaining what "big girl panties" and i was reminded that i need to put mine on and quit being so whiney lately.

all hail the big girl panties

not these

but these

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Wednesday, April 08, 2009

not a bad day after all

so today was a suprising first day off. It is a good thing when you get a day off that you are SUPPOSED to be off of work. but since i truly had no kids, i was kinda lost for the first couple of hours. then i got over it.

i went and got my hair did. i will post a pic soon, it's short and blond and lots of fun....oh yeah, did i mention i have bangs. i cleaned and got caught up on my tv shows. (except for housewives, i am kinda disappointed with that show right now) and of course i got caught up on my blog reading.

so all in all it was not a bad day. not too painful, and i did not stay in bed all day which was what i wanted to do. i might be able to do this afterall.

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

im gonna be alright

work is great! i can't believe that i waited so long to just walk away and do what i love all along. i love being a teacher. being in an office was never me, it was what the me i thought everyone wanted me to be would be.
i am greeted every morning with hugs and smiles and eyes that light up, because they get to spend the day with me. and i find myself halfway through my ten hour day feeling tired. until i feel a set of five year old arms wrapping themselves around my waist and saying those precious words "i love you ms. wendy"
how do you top that?

making tons of money is so over-rated! making yourself feel that you are doing something worthwhile and touching a life is not!

kinda makes the whole upcoming issue of moving, going through a divorce and uprooting my family seem not important. those are things i cannot change. what i can change is my attitude (and my drinking habits) :)

so for tonight, if only for tonight, i am just fine.....

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Thursday, April 02, 2009

no. i am not going to call you back.

okay, so i really let it all out just now,,,,,and then i deleted it.
some things are better left unsaid.

i am still getting divorced.Don't know where we will live yet. new job is great, only thing that it is great right now. have not told the kids, but they are getting the hint. living off of booze and Twilight. will be okay eventually.

just so that we are clear on how crappy i really am doing right now. :) :)

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