for the record...muzak christmas carols SSUCKKK

.........and i only have to listen to the crap for almost a whole month longer!!!!

so call me scrooge..

 but besides my red puffy face that makeup cannot restore to its usual shine now i have a splitting headache and can't stop singing "have a blue christmas" Elvis style... (can you tell i work in retail?)

but you'd think that since i work in a place that caters to builders and contractors why the heck would you play elevator music to begin with. AND THEY DONT EVEN CALL IT MUSIC, ITS MUZAK....

it's horrendous, that's what it is.

but it sure beats the promotional video for the new Paula Dean furniture (yes, she makes furniture) that home decor plays periodically. If i have to hear "hey yall" one more time i may just ...i dont know what i will do but i sure wont be happy doing it.

i am not sure why, but i laughed soo hard when i found out 3 people were actually waiting in line outside the door at 7:30am when we opened. i guess the ad we put out worked. and the #1 selling popular item.....(cue the music) the $59.00 five minute toilet. (my guess is they call it that because it is made so cheaply that it just takes five minutes to clog up.

really guys. this is a home improvement store.

On a uplifting note i got a really cool email from my daily dose of wisdom ala~ Rev. Run. It said...

"you can get anything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want. ~Zigler"

i thought it was really cool cause to me it means that we can all be happy and obtain what we want, if we help each other out. and that even if i am focusing on helping other people more than myself it's okay, because someone else is going to be looking out for me.

i am very excited to have the weekend off. hopefully i can get a storage unit and quickly fill it up with all the junk filling up my house.Desperately need to go by the library to pay my fine and find some good books to read (it's been awhile since i read and i am hoping i still know how to), grocery shopping can be squeezed in but then i need to paint my kitchen and put Kaileighs bed together, throw in 5 dog baths,three kid showers,an overhaul of the playroom and some snuggle time with Ryan and i wont have much of a weekend off now will I?

this blog temporarily taken over by hormones

Pardon the interruption yesterday.....my blog was taken over temporarily by hormones.
All technical difficulties have been cried out and we will now return to your regularly scheduled posting.....

Don't mess with Texas....or so they say

today has been bittersweet for me.

i was supposed to be in Texas tonight. Meeting my family, basking in the compliments about how much i look like my mom and my sisters (one of them there that i have not met yet) you dont know how hard its been not to jump in my car and just show up and say suuuprriissseee.....                                                                                                                                       
but i am here.in Arkansas and they are there. in Texas.. not really sure now what the heck happened. i know that it all happened so fast. and that i freaked out and over-analyzed EVERYTHING. some things got said, and i did not know how to process. and instead of giving me time to just get over it and figure out a way to just be .....i got pressured to give more than i could give. and then it came to the kids birthdays and i didnt hear from them and i got upset. i just remembered all the birthdays i did not know them and did not hear from them and i blamed her. i did. maybe i still do..... so i closed up and it snowballed. till there was nothing left. nothing. she told me to leave "''Her"""""" family alone. and i just want to scream my sister JaLana made the comment one time that the twins have every right to feel entitled and protective of her. that that is their mother so i just should take it and not get offended if they say things to that effect.                          i say that is a crock of crap. we came from the same place and she is just as much MY mom as she is their mom. The only difference is that she did not want me. plain and brutal simple truth. i dont really care what the nicey nicey folks have to say about a mom being the one that raises you and all of that. I felt this connection to her from the start, i saw myself in her. and now she is gone. again.      FOR 31 YEARS I felt that my mom did not want me. I am not going to display everything that she told me because i have learned that sometimes you dont have to say it all for it to be there. it just is. but some of the things she told me i dont know how to deal with. it hurts. and honestly this is the first time i have talked about this. with ANYONE other than my counselor. so excuse me if i ramble and rant and cry and dont make much sense. i dont know how to make sense of this. all i feel is the loss and the rejection and confusion of not knowing how the hell i feel....................Happy Thanksgiving Wendy

my grown up christmas wish list

Being an OCD-ish personality type is sometimes exasperating. I can't concentrate...

(not in school,or church, or even at a parent teacher conference in which my 7 yr old's teacher is explaining why it is not acceptable for my daughter to tell her if she doesnt change her tone of voice THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE ISSUES)

.....so i make lists

grocery lists,to do lists,things i need to buy for my new house in order of what room they will go in,clothes my kids need,goals for this week- next week- five years,
songs i want to download, people i need to apologize to (i know right),dates to add to my calender, really random quotes and sayings and books, all the un-necessary things that clutter up my mind preventing me from dealing with all the things i NEED to be thinking about.

this being one of those times i decided to go ahead and make my christmas wish list now
let my lusting begin

YANKEE CANDLES (no flowers,fruit or anything that will make my three year old -or dogs- want to eat it)



TANO BAG AND HOBO CLUTCH (cause you can't have one without the other)





NECKLACE WITH ALL THREE OF MY KIDS NAMES ON IT

62" BIG SCREEN (gave ours to the ex and did'nt think i'd miss it BUT I DO...SNIFF SNIFF)

oh yeah, and a partidge in a pear tree

it's gonna be okay

Last night i had no kids. and i felt like a no-good,horrible,terrible parent...until that is, my boyfriend asked me to go see New Moon...

(okay, so we were out getting something to eat and about to go to WAl-Mart and i might have suggested it and he might have agreed)

but he wanted to ask me to go first i just didnt give him enough time to suggest it.

anyhoo, we went. and the fact that the movie started at 9:05 and we did not leave the theater until 11:30 was not relevant.....I GOT TO SEE BELLA AND EDWARD AGAIN...

sigh.....

and yes, it did not take my breath away like the first one.
and yes, i dont know that i will wake up and fall asleep with the movie on repeat while reading the book listening to the soundtrack on my ipod.

but I GOT TO SEE BELLA AND EDWARD AGAIN.

i think it is the intensity and hopefullness that i am so infatuated with.

that and how hard i laughed when Jacob takes his shirt off and the LOUD thunderous gasp from all the teenage (and not so teenage) girls (and boys) in the audience made the movie just what the doctor ordered..

today it's back to work and back to the chaos of 3 kids and 5 dogs (yes i said 5) my dog procreates more than the Duggars.well, maybe not more...yet.

i am kind of sad this week leading up to Thanksgiving. i will be celebrating with mixed feelings. not really looking forward to it actually but i am determined to be in good spirits and a thankful and grateful heart. i should be in Texas.

i havent really spoke about any of that. and i really dont think this is the place. just know i am sad and melancholy and empty. but blessed still the same.

why? because someone said so....

why is damnit spelled damnit? Mr. Webster, it should be spelled like it sounds so as to be less confusing for folks like me .it's not pronounced damn-nit, is it?

why is there always ONE whopper that is not quite a "whopper"? i mean, the rest of the batch is not that way. but it never fails, i start to bite in to one, expecting that crunch and then i get to suck on the malt till it just tingly melts into my mouth. that hollow crunchless unmeltable malted milk ball just ruins the whole thing.

(now this one will prob. make no sense to you unless you watch UFC...which i doubt you do) but why does Joe Rogan say "One the button" everytime someone gets knocked out. it's horrendous and to me, is worse than hearing nails scratching across a blackboard...or my kids playing that little flute-a-phone thing......i know, random right!

why is it that people say "I'm just saying" of course you are just saying it. you just said it did'nt you? does saying "I'm just saying" make it more valid that you said it.

what is up with Bath & Body Works and.EVERY.good scent i fall in love with it and get mucho compliments on, i accidentally run out and frantically rush to my nearest mall (which is no small or quick feat for me with 3 kids and zero time) only to have my spirit crushed by some blonde with a voice only her mother could enjoy "i'm sorry, that scent has been discontinued".....what a tease.pfmphhh

where did they come up with the name Blackberry for a phone?

i really do have lots to do besides think up random things that have no purpose taking up this much space in my head....i promise......

just run with it Wendy

So yes, i am a dork! Have i told you that before? I own it and admit it without shame or thoughts of changing it anytime soon. When i was younger i tried to be cool, now i am just too busy and exhausted to even pretend.

what made me remind myself of that today, was when i rolled out of bed (well, not out...but i opened my eyes anyway) and heard the "duh-dong" of my blackberry reminding me that i have unchecked emails (and i thought this thing was going to make life easier, instead it constantly reminds me of all the things i have not done yet) so of course i have to check it. i am relieved that it is not a bath and body works, new york and company, or huggies ad, I AM SO SICK OF THEM. but i am afraid i will miss something so i wont unsubscribe.

yes, i am a dork

so i look and it is my words of wisdom for the day. If any of you have seen Run's House, which i love by the way, who needs to Cosby's, Bundy's or the Simpson's when you have the Simmons family. In every show ending he was sitting in the bubble bath with his smart phone typing a message. He calls them Rev Run's words of wisdom. AND I FOUND THE PLACE TO GET THEM...teeheehee. i warned you.

so every morning i am greeted by some tidbit that is witty, yet easily applied to my day to day.todays is especially nifty.

Daily Word
Put on a Happy Face
"of all the things you wear today. your attitude is the most important."

i had to stop and take a second and really reflect on that one. i am going to make an effort today (baby steps) to have a great attitude. hey...i did say TRY

are you there calgon, it's me, Wendy

whew....glad the weekend is over.

yes, i said it. I AM GLAD THE WEEKEND IS OVER.

We had some friends over Saturday night, and while i was moved to tears that one of them brought me a black wooden cutout of a rooster that i have NO idea where i am going to proudly display, it was still an exhausting 3 days.

Before the rooster bringing friend came over, i worked that morning (which i do twice a month) and while i enjoy the witty banter and stimulating conversation NOT about scooby doo and little pet shop, it is tiring.

not that i have time off on my time off. what with remodeling my house and writing a paper on Anti-communism and McCarthyism for my history class. Then there is the extreme room makeover Ryan and I gave the playroom. Throw in dropping off Kaileigh for a camping trip and picking Emory up from her first sleepover......... i would say that i am exhausted from just typing all that out but i have used that zinger before...

so let me just wrap up my post by saying words few have spoken (at least to me)

I AM SO GLAD IT'S MONDAY :)

employment not enjoyment

okay now,

i do not subscribe to the theory that you cannot and should not enjoy your job. quite the contrary i think you should not stay at a job you are not in love with. and i truly do LOVE my job......but i would love it a lot more if i could have time to blog.

all those smokers get an allotted time to go outside and inhale sticks of life shortening paper, why can't i have a "blog break"? i mean, ten minutes a day would improve my work performance and demeaner tremendously.

i wonder if i fill out the suggestions for improvement on one of the comment cards up front if management will go for it????