today is a new day

I actually woke up feeling okay for the first time in the last couple of very emotionally draining days.It's a new day! I could actually get out of bed relatively easy. I didn't groan and try to steal a few more minutes and think to myself "I thought when people are unstable and emotionally fragile they get to be depressed, not shower, and stay in bed neglecting their kids and life for days at a time"

Even in my deression I have multiple to-do lists full of tasks that have to be completed. I think it's from my single mommy days. If I don't get it done, it won't get done and the world will end.

Last night husband stayed with me. At first I was a little leary. I just did not want to rehash all the same old arguments...and neither did he.

so we didn't. we did however talk, just a bit. about life and stress we have that the other one does not even know about, or acknowledge. I asked him if he felt like their is something to fix. If it is worth it and if it is even possible. Questions I really thought I knew the answer to. and he said "honestly sometimes I do think we can work it out"

I guess that is okay for now. I mean, do I really have to have it all worked out right this second. On the way to work I heard a song I love, by Casting Crowns called "Slow Fade" and it is so fitting.

"Slow Fade"

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

I really have to be smart and wise about this. That is one thing I am sure of. The rest has to just work itself out in it's time. Now, off to my day.