Sunday, January 31, 2010

stay home snow day (part two)

Okay, so being the glutten for punishment (and frostbite) that i am, i spent the day with the kids (and a few more that were not mine) sledding. Ryan and his brother (Sean) and sister- in- law (Kelli) and both of our sets of three kids (that is SIX total kids) piled in the cars and we headed for a winter wonderland (actually it was a slushy sand packed mess but i can pretend right)
Kaileigh of course was NOT wearing her brand new DC tennis shoes that she begged for and cost way too much money, and Emory did NOT insist on bringing her a cabbage patch doll (which of course Isaiah had to bring one two) throw in that it was naptime and i have a kidney stone. Definately one of those mastercard commercials where it says this plus this equals priceless...

well, so it was not that bad but are some of what my day included

not sure this is legal, but we made it there eventually                          who needs a sled, just run down the hill

opps! who put that tree there?                                     Ryan "helping" Isaiah                                                        

it's all good now!          very patiently waiting her turn for the sled  tupperware

no, mommy does not do tupperware sleds                           but Emory and Ashton sure do!

yes! it is Arkansas and all, but an air mattress as a sled....come on now!

still not going on the tupperware or air mattress sleds...        Isaiah found a use for the's a snowball shield

partners in crime (Sarah and Kaileigh)                                 and they did finally get me on a REAL sled...

my handsome little prince..with his cabbage patch doll               a doll of my own.....Ryan and me

So overall the day was fun. Hopefully something the kids can look back on with fondness (cause they are out of school again tommorrow and i will NOT be in such a good memory making mood when it hits around 3pm and they have cabin fever!!!!!)
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Saturday, January 30, 2010

stay home snow day

it snowed here in Arkansas! The kind of glorious white fluffy stuff that covers my mostly dead grass and makes it all peaceful and pretty. The kind of event that closes school, makes you break out scarves and gloves and snow boots, layer up clothing and set out the hot chocolate ready to be made after a cold day playing
when you really have a million other things to do.
Little man was sooo excited to run after Ree to play in the snow. That is until his jeans got snow in the whole in his knee (after about 5 min) and he said "i cold" he then ran back inside to claim his seat on the back of the couch looking out the front window where he was our number one fan (as long as he could cheer from inside where it is warm) i worry about him sometimes. 
not Ree though! She is the girl that her extremities will get all blue and her scarf will have the ice balls hanging from it. you know, the ones that were snow but melted and then re-froze she has been outside that long. After she was done with her creation (whose eyes include jar lids and whose nose is THE BIGGEST carrot you have ever seen that she dug out of the ground herself) she looked back at it as she was walking inside and replied "well, that is the weirdest snow man I have ever made"
out of the mouths of babes
and of course after all that hard work, and after being cooped up in the house for what seemed like a million years (which it has been according to snowed in days) we went to out to eat. At this particular all you can eat buffet i was informed by Ree that THIS WAS ALL SHE COULD EAT....

and what stay- home- day would be complete with out mommy walking in to HER room after dishes, laundry and picking up "stuff" all ove the house to find two dead weight bodies in her nice big comfy bed?? and of course you cant rouse them (altough i bed if i told them the cookies were done i would see an automatic rise and shine)

i know one thing,,,momma aint sleeping on the twin tonight!!

Friday, January 29, 2010

It is what it is...part i lost count

i have always had the unfortunate lot in life to be the "it's not fair girl" the one that has thing after thing happen to her, always has an excuse and a reason why it's not. my. fault.

it gets tiring, it really does. but i hold on and drag out.and milk it.

i should have been a spanish speaking soap star. would have won whatever their eqivalent to an emmy is. or at least a nod on (i really am that good)

so anyway, i am learning to let go. well, scratch that. trying to learn how to let go.

let go.... that i was adopted. its not cause something was wrong with me.i was not abandoned. i was given a great wonderful family that in spite of my drama LOVES me and puts up with me.

let go....that M does not have all the answers. if it's meant to be it'll come out in due time. never really thought i'd find her and in time i did. not on MY time but IN time

let go....that some people will not like me. they dont have to and i cant make them. i am and have done some not so great things and usually the reasons they dont like me are valid. so i will embrace the people that DO like me and stop obsessing over the opinions i cant change.

let go...that i have three kids and that i am not in a traditional family unit. my kids are amazing. they are gorgous and funny and growing up to be so much more than i ever dreamed they would be. they are healthy and they love me (till their teenage years anyway) i am not perfect but who is? all i can do is go day by day and do the best that i can. i have put people in their lives that hopefully will pick up the wholes that i cant fill.

let go...that i dont have enough money,time,or motivation to be supermom. trust me you would not want to eat off my floor i am a horrible cleaner and if you ride in my car something might be growing under your seat, but i know now that i can be a really good mom who loves her kids (and herself) and i can be okay with that.

let go...of my past. enough said.

none of this is a new revelation i can say, but maybe if i say it loud and often where i know it is in my heart will seep out and reside also in my head (or at least that drama queen part of me that starts crap all the time)...

a girl can put it on her to-do list right???


someone once told me that you have to choose
                                       what you win or lose
                                 you cant have everything
                          dont you take chances you might feel the pain
                                  dont you love in vain, cause love wont set you free
                                     i could stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
                                                so unhappy but safe as could be


                                                                    so what if it hurts me

                                                                  so what if i break down

                                       so what if this world just throws me off the edge

                                                                my feet run out of ground

                                                                     i gotta find my place

                                                                     i wanna hear my sound

                                                 dont care about other pain infront of me

                                                           cause im just tryna be happy, yea


                                                            holding on tightly just cant let it go
                                                                   just tryna play my roll
                                               slowly diasappear, oooh well all these tears
                                                                they feel like theyre the same
                                                      just different faces, different names
                                                                        get me outta here
                                        well i can stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by

                                                           so any turns that i cant see
                                                         ill count a stranger on this road
                                                              but don’t say victim
                                                                dont say anythng


                                                              so what if it hurts me

                                                            so what if i break down

                         so what if this world just throws me off the edge

                                                          my feet run out of ground

                                                                i gotta find my place

                                                               i wanna hear my sound

                                                 dont care about all the pain infront of me

                                                           cause im just tryna be happy

                                                                  just wanna be happy

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