not just a litttle......A LOT
tonight i was walking through the store trying to decide what new cute shirt i should buy and it dawned on me how unfair this really is. Most people that meet their mother for the first time get to be naked.
WHY IS IT THAT I HAVE TO BE THE LUCKY ONE TO HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO WHERE TO MEET MINE?
story of my life really though, don't know why i am suprised.
so i bought myself flowers instead and decided that in the morning i will get up and whatever shirt that screams my name when i walk in my closet. that is what i will wear.
i got on facebook and wrote one of my two twin sisters a letter. i would write the other one (and i will) but i don't know if she knows about me yet or what she thinks, so i will just hold off on that letter. i just want them both to know that i am thinking of their feelings, that it is okay if they feel weird about this (cause i sure do) and that i am so thankful and just humbled that i get to go through this at all (remember now, i have fantasised and dreamed and sometimes cussed this mysterious Maureen since i found out at 10 years old that i was adopted, but i never really knew her to be REAL,,,,,and now she will be)
My adopted mom and dad (i have never refered to them that way, kindof odd really to be typing it now), and my sister JaLana and brother Adam are almost too excited for me. I just keep waiting for them to react in the way i just know they feel, but they don't. Which is good cause i may snap on them.And i am trying to be understanding of their feelings, but when I don't know how i feel it is kind of hard to be sensitive to other people's feelings, odd to say the least!!!! I do love them for being so supportive and unselfish, guess they know they can't get rid of me in spite of all of this :) They are kind of stuck with me~~~
so here i am, the night before i meet my birthmother. i should be cleaning and planning what i am going to wear and how i will fix my hair
instead i am drinking a glass of wine and reflecting on which one of my life goals i will conquer next since this one is coming true....
and if you believe i am that calm bless your heart.......
....to be continued
4 comments:
How amazing dear friend! I really hope the meet went well today, and I want to know all about it!!!!!
See, when someone closes a door, somewhere a window is opened!!!
Much Love
Nola
XXX
I want you to know you ARE an amazing youg woman. I couldnlt stop lookinng at you. The first time I saw you today I just knew that you were my daughter. You truly are the best part of me. I have an opportunity to show you how much you are wanted and needed and I donlt take this for granted. Thank you doesnlt begin to express how I feel so I'll have to show you. I am sending you lots of love, your Mom(wow, that is someting I didlt think I would ever be able to say.hypomee
Wendy this is so something I didn't know about you. I so hope your meet goes as perfect as it can go and I really would love to hear all about it soon. You are such a loving and caring person and I will pray that things work out for the best for you Wendy. And yes we so do need to get together and hang out soon I think about you and get worried when your not blogging but then again I have been on the slow train when it comes to blogging the past few weeks or so .. Ok we sure will have to fix this not getting to hang out problem soon..
I am so so so so so excited for you Wendy :)
I can't believe this is happening for you - you must be beside yourself.
All my love to you! I miss you lots and hope you are doing well!
Post a Comment