Tanya Tucker, Introducing Lisa and a Moon that is not so new

This weekend has been a mix of meloncholy, missing Ryan, awesome family and some Tanya Tucker.... I really had planned on staying home all weekend and hanging with the kids. But by mid-friday I saw that I was gonna be childless, Elaine was calling, and I had to plan my midnight trip to Wal-Mart to buy  meKaileigh New Moon (which I have watched three times since I got it)

sigh...sigh...

Knowing that the movie was coming out was the meloncholy part for me for several reasons. It had been building up for awhile, the nervousness of knowing certain feelings were gonna come back and that it was gonna make me go back to the night that Ryan and I sat in the movie theater holding hands watching it.  I was so happy that night. The first time I saw Twilight was right after Dan had moved out and I was so completely blown away by this tragic, complicated, and intense love story that I so badly wanted to find for myself. I must have watched that movie on repeat for three weeks straight. I watched it until I was so sick of it and then I watched it again. I woke up to that horrible music that the main menu was on and I vividly remember the feeling of my breath catching in my throat during the love scenes.

It is kind of ironic that I am reliving my obsession with the second installment of the movie at a time when I am breaking up and getting over Ryan.

.....it doesnt help that more than once (cheesy as this sounds) Ryan was jokingly refered to as "my Edward" my dark, mysterious, brooding boyfriend that just made me feel like I was beautiful and wanted and loved. In a way that I really needed to be loved. And I am sad. And I have good days and bad days and although the worst is over I am not "over" it fully. But I will be.

I knew the night was gonna be crappy if I sat at home and relived the movie alone so when the kids were gone and Elaine called, I just had to go with it and kidnap her. So she rode back with me to Bentonville. And we met up with her friends, and where did we go.

KARAOKE.

Why is it that everyone wants to sing The Rose (and it is never a Beaches moment) or how about Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" (I could never get drunk enough to fully sit through that) or an all time favorite Tanya Tucker (which Jesska, Elaine's friend did sing, but since it was her birthday I let it slide) I laughed so hard (and suprisingly did not get drunk since I was driving) it was just fun fun fun with a girl that has been a bestie of mine for 20 years. Not alot of your friends go back since you were 11 years old (thank goodness, that girl knows waaaay to much to NOT be my friend)

They started out with The Donna's "Take It Off" which was fun. Since I was not drinking I did not have liquid courage I did no singing...at least not on stage. :)

And then somehow she moved on to Tanya Tucker...but it was her birthday so we forgave her and played along...

Not too sure where Elaine was looking...she kind of has a drifting eye in this pic

Group shot of the whole gang. Me, Elaine, Jesska, and Marissa (I was jealous of her coveralls, that was what I wanted to wear)

I dragged Elaine (who was intoxicated) to Wal-Mart in Missourri at midnight so that I could truthfully admit to Kaileigh that  I she is the proud owner of New Moon

sigh...sigh...

onto today....It does not feel like a Saturday. I almost titled this weekend wrap up but the weekend has only just begun. It was Emory's testing day at Kuk Sool. She has a white belt and was testing for her yellow stripe. I was so proud of her she was so strong and confident and so darn cute...

She is now the proud white belt with a pretty yellow stripe on it.. YEAH REE REE!!



I have not really posted lately on much else except for my pathetic attempt to get over Ryan so let me take a second to update you on my biological family and a member that i am getting to know. Let me introduce you to my cousin Lisa.

Lisa is alot like me. In her pics I see the eyes that so obviously I got from my mother's side of the family. Her voice is warm and her laughter fills the airwaves. She is a mommy to three boys and she has this easy going confidence and stunning prescence that I can't imagine what is like in person cause she is so powerful from afar. You can look at her baby's pics and just see how loved they are by her. She is fiercely proud of the family that she tells me all about and suprisingly we talk everyday. Texts, emails, phone calls, facebook friends....she is fast becoming one of my closest friends and someone I rely on. She is calm and funny and puts absolutely no pressure on me to be anything but me. It's really nice.

I love it that we are just normal and healthy. I love that we don't talk about people but that I get to ask questions and feel so totally at ease with her. We talk about life and our kids and growing up (both then and now). She is just a very good friend to me. and the fact that she is my cousin, my blood just makes it so much more special to me. And I am trying really hard to learn lessons I messed up the first time around so I feel like this is just the beginning for us.


Well, it's late and tommorrow is another day. Church and hopefully a run not to mention a few loads of laundry...and even though I am sad there is a certain relationship I just can't seem to get right, and even though I really miss Ryan, I am seeing how many truely wonderful relationships I do have (both old and new) and it is just going to keep getting better....

So meet Lisa

What do you think, do we look alike?