RPatz, my a-ha moment, and did i really say that?

So, overall the past couple of days have been rocking. In a "just getting through the day I'm so sad" kind of way. Meloncholy me, that is what I have been. I will explain more in a bit.

This was a kid-less weekend for me. I do struggle with those when I am all alone (meaning boy or husband less) and since that seems to be my forseeable future this being my first, I was scared of the happening..

Friday night I hung out with Alicia Sue. She is so very funny. We went to her mom's house and talked about life and love and what the heck were we thinking moments we have done over the last 7 years. So much fun, that girl is. And her mom is a hoot too. I have never been able to talk to my mom like that. Heck. sometimes it's hard to talk to either one of them so it is always fascinating to me when i stumble apon that sweet open mommy-daughter thing. The kind of "thing" I dream of for me and my babies.

Saturday, I awoke having spent the night in her daughter Lilli's princess room to a long uncertain day. What the heck would I do to pass the time? On the way home I spotted a antique store and ventured in. It was called Precious Cargo and boy was there ever! That is how I ended up with this

Since having four dogs, two beta fish, three kids leaves me feeling like I don't have to take care of we are now the ecstatic owner of a parakeet. Jonas.

Emory named him. You can use your imagination on how she came up with the name. Ugh! a bird.

help me lord!

Saturday night was fun enough I suppose. We got all dolled up and I tried out the new hair. We went to the usual haunts. Cowboy, Bobbisox, and the Spanish speaking concert where Alicia's husband was doing security. I hardly had a think to drink, saw Ryan's mom and ran out of there as fast as I walked in, and was at home in bed by midnight. But I was out. NOT missing Ryan. looking pretty getting hit on and best of all I was laughing. really hard laughing. it was much needed easy going fun.

Sunday was a mommy-daughter time of my own you could say. Kaileigh and I decided to go see the new Robert Pattinson movie

I am not a big movie person. I have been to quite a few lately but pretty much this man has been in everyone (well, 2 of 4) and I really did not know what this movie was about. The last ten minutes had me boohooing so hard I was glad there was only 5 people in the theater (me kaileigh and her friend being three of the 5) It was SO good. go see it. Thought it was gonna be about him. and her.  But it really is not. It's about not dealing with pain, not knowing how to anyways, and the aftermath of trying to just get by after a tragedy. It's about complex relationships and what do you do when they are broken down and toxic and yet important and impactful in the long haul. It's about the crappy things that happen to us all but yet we still find some way to see the good in it all.

Didnt see that coming did you?!?

This man is so occupying my dreams right now. I know that is silly and a lot of people don't like the whole need a shower look but I really dig him. It's the dark, mysterious,brooding thing I am guessing. Sucker for a guy with a thought or two. And for some reason everytime I am going through a break up he pops up. When Dan and I split up Twilight came out and I wept and watched the dang thing for days. Now New Moon comes out and it doesnt help that I went with Ryan to go see it in the theater. Ugh. the angst.

Monday I went out to lunch with Xtina and her man and her man's friend. An odd sort of lunch date and I made her sit by me so I would not have to sit by him. And then I proceeded to insult him and dig my whole further and further so that if at any point in the lunch he wanted to see me again. well. lets just say not so much. He asked me when I was gonna take him to the movies. I told him November never. I said that I seemed to be a loser magnet and that from now on I am going to be picky.

 I have been asked out three times in the last week and a half and while I have been tempted to say hell no almost every time I was polite. rude and obnoxious and basically said hell no.

What is wrong with me?!

opps! This time I really did not mean to say it LIKE that. what I meant to say was that I often say yes on impulse before getting to know the guy then fall madly in love with the VERY WRONG sort of guy. case in point. Ryan. I am going to take two months. two months of no guys and no dates and no pressure. Just me. and the babies, and maybe some long nights on the trampoline....

 Just now I started to go into this long drawn out explanation of all the things he did and all the ways I was wronged. and you know what.....It's just over. and he was JUST WRONG for me. or I was wrong for him. It was fun for a time and then it just wasnt and like all things Wendy I am making it into more than it is or was. He is not the last guy I will ever feel for. my a-ha moment came and today was a great day.

Today was a parent teacher conference and a good workout at the gym. Kuk Sol with Emory, rented movies with Kaileigh Shay and all of us are happily chomping away on some Subway. Volunteering tommorow in the thriving metropolis of Lowell doing who knows what. Giving back to my community you could say.

So goodnight my bloggy friends

shave and a haircut...but without the shave

Okay, so I will not lie. I would LOVE to shave my head....

and I have done it before. In beauty school I took the clippers and the number 4 guard and cut a patch in my head. So of course my bestie Alicia HAD to fix it for me. And it's been game over ever since.

Me and Miss Alicia Sue

And ever since (7 years now) I have let her have my way with me..well, with my hair. I have had the not so good (blue bangs was not the best decision I have ever made) and then some that I LOVE...this curly hairdo being one of them

so anyway. yesterday. and the hair cut. i went from hair like this

to a short shabby cut like this

and Alicia didnt stop there. She added some red...like this

and it looks in the front a little like this (hey look! my eyes match my streaks) :)  I LOVE it (although it will take some adjusting) It's completely different from what I had before and easy to take care of (which was the point) and hey, it's just hair IT'LL GROW....

Day of my divorce...can you even paint this day funny??

I feel like I need to document this day. I tried to think of some clever title, some cute post that really would not paint the occasion as not as sad and ....just sad. as I am. My divorce was final today..

Does anyone ever really see themselves on divorce day?

I woke up knowing I had to go to court today. So I dressed down. I really did show up to court looking like a skank. jeans and flip flops. my hair not done up with rollers, like I usually do for special occasions.

cause this was not a special occasion. this was not something i am proud of or wanted to happen.

 for the record.i did not want this.

but I made that hard decision that after so many times of him leaving and telling me to "find someone to take care of me and my kids" i did find someone.......

i found myself

and being impulsive and irrational and sarcastic and all that I am it was not an easy decision to make. Do I always make good or perfect decisions now as a single mommy of three. HELL NO! but do I feel like i had to do it. yes. i did.

while I do not pine away for my ex I pine for the dream of happily ever after that I thought we had found in each other. I pine for the stability and security that I thought I had given my kids and the approval that I finally had in my family (deep rooted issue.having kids out of wedlock.inter-racial. whole nother post)

the fact is....I PINE FOR THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER I THOUGHT I FOUND...

in some other post and some other day I will make light. I will wear my divorcee bag and dream of Mr. White Night that I still believe to be out there.

tonight though i will cry. i will be sad. and i will mourn my not so happily ever after.....

a tree makeover, a day at the park, and the WORST MOMMY EVER

Some people decorate trees with their families. They do it at Christmas time, and sometimes you see ghosts made out of trashbags at Halloween or eggs swinging from branches at Easter.


us....we do it with crazy faces. on Saturdays. in March

After we destroyed decorated our tree we decided to go to the park. It being such a gorgous day I wanted the monsters kids to burn off a little energy.

Of course Kailegh being all of twelve years old was horified that I would FORCE her to spend time with us.

While little man was all smiles...

 

I did get smiles out of Kaileigh eventually. And why must my kids throw up deuces like they are teenagers..The kid is seven. enough already.

we did a little fake rock climbing

and Mommy's prince climbed in my lap and did the trademark "i love you girl" and would not swing with me until I said "i love you boy"

 

She got up there and then was so mad when I would not get her down. After I yelled "Dont get up there if you can't get her down"

of course I did get her down.

After she started crying and screaming that I WAS THE WORST MOMMY EVER... and maybe she is right. See, I don't do crybaby. And she somehow has gotten it in her head if she does that she will get special treatment.

and so she shall. I have started filming her doing it to show her what she looks like. Today she started crying cause I told her to stop being so mean and bully-ish to her friend that was with us. She was tired and cranky and everything set her off. Add in that Isaiah started calling her a crybaby and telling her to stop and it was over. Turned into three min of a breakdown, her telling me it was because she was not getting a turn on the swing (false by the way) and once I calmed her down it was all smiles....at least till the next breakdown.

and i do need to stop. laughing that is. There is nothing like a three year old telling a seven year old to "ack right"....

Leave it to little man to take charge and make it all better. I swear those kisses melt ANY heart. even Emory

soon she was all smiles again. I never did find out if I am still the WORST MOMMY EVER..

me and my girls.....

friday night funnies

pics from tonight's date night with the babies.....

don't want to get ready, let's hide in a basket and maybe mommy won't see me

Standing in front of the Alice In Wonderland poster

ohhhhh....glasses

But they look so much better on my head

What's in my.....

IPOD Currently, i am alteranting between two cd's. Having an almost teenager provides me with the reason excuse to listen to shamful tweeny pop....and pretend to detest it. But i really like to bob my head to this first cd

Kesha: Animal

MINDI have been reading a series of books my sister got me hooked on. They are called the BLACK DAGGER BROTHERHOOD books and there are five of them in the box set I have. Let me tell you...if you liked Twilight this series is the NON teeny version. And even if you don't smoke you will want a cigarette after you done. It's the saga of five vampire warrier brothers that are each disturbed in their own right but somehow overcome that to find true love. And sometimes the ending is not happily ever after. LOVE this series and was really sad to finish the last book. Each of the five books is a different vampires story while intertwining all the lives together....

Also reading THE HAPPINESS PROJECT BY GRETCHEN RUBIN in the front flap of the book the author sums it up in a small but powerful sentence. "The days are long but the years are short and I find myself not focusing on the things that matter" The author set about not uprooting her life but rather improving it where she was. Which is a lesson I could definately take to heart.

MOUTH Sometimes, I don't try a product out just because EVERYONE has it. Which is kind of ignorant on my part cause if EVERYONE has it....it must be good huh?! So while walking through the isles in Walgreen's the other day I saw a tube of BURT'S BEESWAX LIP BALM..and on a whim (and not looking at the price tag on the small tube of chapstick) i got it.....LOVE IT.

but don't worry CARMEX i am still in love with you and the eight tubes scattered strategically placed in various places all over my life will be used in no time at all....

NOSE I am a candle whore afficionado. I just love candles and have them ALL.OVER.MY.HOUSE. it is truly ridiculous. Most of the time I am a Yankee till I die girl. until,

I met you TYLER CANDLES.... especially BOUGIE PARUMEE

whooo in their right mind could resist a name like that....or Diva, 2Spoiled, and Wedding Cake

PURSENothing clever, just an honest look at what's in my purse. and ugh!!

OKAY, so that is not really my purse or my stuff but it could very well be (except through in some scooby doo figurines and a half eaten honey bun or three oh yeah, and a tube of carmex)

DVD PLAYER Having kids provides little opportunity to actually watch what I want. So the two DVDs I can recite are suprisingly two movies that I am enjoying. One being a movie that actually IS one I chose and not a kiddie movie. The other one is not so much my pick, but hey, you pick your battles right.

The Changeling with Angelina Jolie

Today is a full day (scratch that..not just today the whole weekend is full) very excited!! This morning little man and I are going to John Q. Hammonds center for RHEA LANA'S consignment sale.
I stumbled upon the blog for the sale and got a really cool idea that I actually used. How many times are you somewhere and you find CHEAP SHOES.....for kids.....

and then, not that you will have this problem because you are on top of it and alas, I AM NOT... I always struggle over what size to buy. This cute idea solves that for me.

trace your childs foot and this shopper went one step further by writing down EXACTLY what she needed for her child.

clever huh!

So after a (hopefully not too long) day shopping (little man is spending the day with me) I have some laundry to tackle and then it's date night with my humans. we are going to dress up (we meaning them) in crazy clothes and go see

my own pics to follow :) happy friday friends

just maybe

While playing bloggy catch up

 (you know, when you miss a day or so of reading and you find post after post of really funny stuff that catches your eye...
and  you kick yourself for being absent)

that is me.

so during my reading, I wondered upon a cool poem. Decided to re-post (is that like re-gifting? i am really bad about that too)

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.


When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need You have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an End.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
Fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has

Come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh..
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,

Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other

Relationships and areas of your life.



It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.




I love this poem. Like I love the person that posted it. I have every faith and belief that this to shall pass. By this I mean "this" hesitation and uncertainty and fear. I believe that in time it will work out and be okay. I will admit that I don't know how to start it all. Don't know how to ask you to talk to me and not about what was or was not done, but just questions like

what is your favorite color
what do you want to be when you grow up
who was your first best friend
and who did you "just know in your heart" at age twelve, that you were gonna marry

I wish we could start, not with the heavy stuff. but the this is who i am stuff?

How do you put that in a letter?

maybe you just put it in a blog. and then the person it was intended for reads it. and she sends you a letter, a sort of mini-biography. and you send her one back. and soon those letters become frequent, then the letters turn into phone calls which turns into a visit or two...

just maybe.

not quite a wordless wednesday post

i would love to do one of those wordless wednesday posts.

you know, the ones with cutesy pictures of kids doing cutesy things...but with NO WORDS....

hence, why i have to refrain every wednesday.

ahhh...i feel so much better. sometimes getting it all out is such a healthy healing thing and allows you just to move on...so now, my almost wordless wednesday post :)

a little bit of me...

A "Getting to Know You" Survey Created by mrsbaer and taken 55895 times on Bzoink
The Basics
Name::	depends on who you ask
Birthdate::	Feb 2
Birthplace::	New Orleans, Louisiana
Current Location::	in my bedroom wrapped up in a quilt
Eye Color::	blue...and sometimes green
Hair Color::	right now it's blond apt to change soon
Height::	5'7
Your webpage::	http://wendyarrington.blogspot.com/
Are you taken?:	in my heart
Are you a virgin?:	i have three kids...what do you think
How many & what kind of pets do you have?:	4 dogs (Bell,Basil,Brutus and Brady) and 3 kids
What's your job?:	mommy
What's your Dream Job?:	something in the non-profit world
Who is your best friend?:	my computer,my journal and my gel pen
What instruments do you play?:	i play a mean bongo and beat box machine that Ree got for Christmas
What are your hobbies?:	writing,singing,writing,UFC
What are your goals?:	to leave the world better than i found it
Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump?:	not a chance
What kind of books and/or magazines do you read?:	very eclectic. from Maya Angelou to Idi Amin
How would do describe yourself?:	a woman of very many words
What is a topic you wish you knew more about?:	boys
What do you daydream about?:	see above
What are your religious/spiritual beliefs?:	i love a understanding and giving God
List 3 Things You Would Change About Yourself:
One::	can't say his name on the internet
Two::	see above
Three::	see above
Either / Or
Shy or Outgoing?:	depends on the alcohol intake
Spender or Saver?:	HUGE spender
Truth or Dare?:	dare
Books or Movies?:	depends on if i want to think (books) or cry (movies)
Romantic Comedy or Action Adventure?:	Thriller or Romantic
Cats or Dogs?:	neither, my kids are enough
Mountain or Beach?:	mountain
Sweet or Salty?:	depends what time of the month it is
Do You...
Smoke?:	no
Drink?:	i've been known to
Get annoyed easily?:	sometimes
Like to travel?:	are my kids going?
Like to drive fast?:	no
Sing well?:	i think so
Want kids?:	i hope so, i have three
-----What would you name a boy?:	Deacon Adam
-----What would you name a girl?:	Carson Maureen
Have You Ever...
Performed on stage? In what?:	yes, lots of stuff mom is a drama major
Been in a car accident?:	unfortunately. with a cop
Been out of the country? Where?:	nope
What Is...
The last CD you bought?:	do people still buy cd's
The last movie you saw in the theater?:	Valentines Day
The last movie you rented?:	not sure but i am a redbox regular
Your greatest fear?:	dying before my kids knew they are my world
Your greatest strength?:	my heart
Your greatest weakness?:	my heart
Your happiest memory?:	meeting my mom
Your Favorite...
Movie::	ahhhhh. where do i start
TV Show::	anything with VH1,General, or crime in it
Actor::	Robert,Gene,Vince,James
Actress::	Sandra,Reese,Jennifer,Angelina
Food::	anything with cheese
Drink::	Dr. Pepper
Color::	purple
Scent::	fall scents. harvests,spices, and warm smells
Season & WHY::	fall. all the things it does to my senses
Day of the week & WHY::	Saturday. cause you got one stay home day left
Store::	Target, Perfect Choice, or Kirkland's
Quote::	I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it ~Maya
What Do You Think About...
Abortion::	i'm adopted so i am not really for it
Homosexuality::	to each his own, i just dont want to watch
God::	love him love him love him
Jesus::	see above
Satan::	don't really have a good relationship with him
Heaven::	excited to get there
Hell::	glad i am not gonna find out
Miracles::	see em everyday
Astrology::	interesting
War::	unfortuante necessity
Ghosts::	nah
Reincarnation::	not so much
Karma::	is a naughty word
Luck::	sometimes shines on me
Aliens::	is a crappy movie
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