Friday, February 04, 2011

Goodbye old friend



if you know me, you know i am a thing person.

i save it all, never knowing if i will get to kiss that persons cheek, hug that persons neck again... never knowing if this might be the last "thing" i have in remembrence of them.

i can trace it (it being that thought process) back to my grandmother Irene (i was named after her....Wendy Irene) 
 she was a special foreign breed of "family" to me. She was the only grandmother i had ever known as both sets of my parents "parents" other than her were gone long before i would know what a grandparent was (up until a few weeks ago that is)
she lived very far away and we visited very infrequently (and she only came to see us twice that i remember) we never got gifts or cards from her (which was okay, she just didnt have the money to do that) don't get me wrong, i know she loved and missed us,,,it was just the miles. She has been gone for over 10 years now...

the three things she did give me, a music box, a makeup set, and a faux bear rug....i still have to this day. intact and unused. i just knew that someday i would want them to be as they were when she gave them to me.

so tonight is a meloncholy night...

the card i wrote should have said,

"i am giving back your rings, could you give me back the piece of my heart"

over the past few days i am learing a painful (albeit freeing) lesson. One that many "grown ups" learn way before my age and become seasoned to it so that each time you practice the concept it becomes less painful easier to handle. me, i dont let go very easy.
wanted to put a really cool letting go quote here, but let's face it. the only thing to be said of letting go (as you are doing in anyway) is that it sucks.

maybe it's why i kept these rings for 13 years...i am glad they are finding their way back home and i was happy to look after them until they did...


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