for the record...muzak christmas carols SSUCKKK

.........and i only have to listen to the crap for almost a whole month longer!!!!

so call me scrooge..

 but besides my red puffy face that makeup cannot restore to its usual shine now i have a splitting headache and can't stop singing "have a blue christmas" Elvis style... (can you tell i work in retail?)

but you'd think that since i work in a place that caters to builders and contractors why the heck would you play elevator music to begin with. AND THEY DONT EVEN CALL IT MUSIC, ITS MUZAK....

it's horrendous, that's what it is.

but it sure beats the promotional video for the new Paula Dean furniture (yes, she makes furniture) that home decor plays periodically. If i have to hear "hey yall" one more time i may just ...i dont know what i will do but i sure wont be happy doing it.

i am not sure why, but i laughed soo hard when i found out 3 people were actually waiting in line outside the door at 7:30am when we opened. i guess the ad we put out worked. and the #1 selling popular item.....(cue the music) the $59.00 five minute toilet. (my guess is they call it that because it is made so cheaply that it just takes five minutes to clog up.

really guys. this is a home improvement store.

On a uplifting note i got a really cool email from my daily dose of wisdom ala~ Rev. Run. It said...

"you can get anything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want. ~Zigler"

i thought it was really cool cause to me it means that we can all be happy and obtain what we want, if we help each other out. and that even if i am focusing on helping other people more than myself it's okay, because someone else is going to be looking out for me.

i am very excited to have the weekend off. hopefully i can get a storage unit and quickly fill it up with all the junk filling up my house.Desperately need to go by the library to pay my fine and find some good books to read (it's been awhile since i read and i am hoping i still know how to), grocery shopping can be squeezed in but then i need to paint my kitchen and put Kaileighs bed together, throw in 5 dog baths,three kid showers,an overhaul of the playroom and some snuggle time with Ryan and i wont have much of a weekend off now will I?

this blog temporarily taken over by hormones

Pardon the interruption yesterday.....my blog was taken over temporarily by hormones.
All technical difficulties have been cried out and we will now return to your regularly scheduled posting.....

Don't mess with Texas....or so they say

today has been bittersweet for me.

i was supposed to be in Texas tonight. Meeting my family, basking in the compliments about how much i look like my mom and my sisters (one of them there that i have not met yet) you dont know how hard its been not to jump in my car and just show up and say suuuprriissseee.....                                                                                                                                       
but i am here.in Arkansas and they are there. in Texas.. not really sure now what the heck happened. i know that it all happened so fast. and that i freaked out and over-analyzed EVERYTHING. some things got said, and i did not know how to process. and instead of giving me time to just get over it and figure out a way to just be .....i got pressured to give more than i could give. and then it came to the kids birthdays and i didnt hear from them and i got upset. i just remembered all the birthdays i did not know them and did not hear from them and i blamed her. i did. maybe i still do..... so i closed up and it snowballed. till there was nothing left. nothing. she told me to leave "''Her"""""" family alone. and i just want to scream my sister JaLana made the comment one time that the twins have every right to feel entitled and protective of her. that that is their mother so i just should take it and not get offended if they say things to that effect.                          i say that is a crock of crap. we came from the same place and she is just as much MY mom as she is their mom. The only difference is that she did not want me. plain and brutal simple truth. i dont really care what the nicey nicey folks have to say about a mom being the one that raises you and all of that. I felt this connection to her from the start, i saw myself in her. and now she is gone. again.      FOR 31 YEARS I felt that my mom did not want me. I am not going to display everything that she told me because i have learned that sometimes you dont have to say it all for it to be there. it just is. but some of the things she told me i dont know how to deal with. it hurts. and honestly this is the first time i have talked about this. with ANYONE other than my counselor. so excuse me if i ramble and rant and cry and dont make much sense. i dont know how to make sense of this. all i feel is the loss and the rejection and confusion of not knowing how the hell i feel....................Happy Thanksgiving Wendy

my grown up christmas wish list

Being an OCD-ish personality type is sometimes exasperating. I can't concentrate...

(not in school,or church, or even at a parent teacher conference in which my 7 yr old's teacher is explaining why it is not acceptable for my daughter to tell her if she doesnt change her tone of voice THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE ISSUES)

.....so i make lists

grocery lists,to do lists,things i need to buy for my new house in order of what room they will go in,clothes my kids need,goals for this week- next week- five years,
songs i want to download, people i need to apologize to (i know right),dates to add to my calender, really random quotes and sayings and books, all the un-necessary things that clutter up my mind preventing me from dealing with all the things i NEED to be thinking about.

this being one of those times i decided to go ahead and make my christmas wish list now
let my lusting begin

YANKEE CANDLES (no flowers,fruit or anything that will make my three year old -or dogs- want to eat it)



TANO BAG AND HOBO CLUTCH (cause you can't have one without the other)





NECKLACE WITH ALL THREE OF MY KIDS NAMES ON IT

62" BIG SCREEN (gave ours to the ex and did'nt think i'd miss it BUT I DO...SNIFF SNIFF)

oh yeah, and a partidge in a pear tree

it's gonna be okay

Last night i had no kids. and i felt like a no-good,horrible,terrible parent...until that is, my boyfriend asked me to go see New Moon...

(okay, so we were out getting something to eat and about to go to WAl-Mart and i might have suggested it and he might have agreed)

but he wanted to ask me to go first i just didnt give him enough time to suggest it.

anyhoo, we went. and the fact that the movie started at 9:05 and we did not leave the theater until 11:30 was not relevant.....I GOT TO SEE BELLA AND EDWARD AGAIN...

sigh.....

and yes, it did not take my breath away like the first one.
and yes, i dont know that i will wake up and fall asleep with the movie on repeat while reading the book listening to the soundtrack on my ipod.

but I GOT TO SEE BELLA AND EDWARD AGAIN.

i think it is the intensity and hopefullness that i am so infatuated with.

that and how hard i laughed when Jacob takes his shirt off and the LOUD thunderous gasp from all the teenage (and not so teenage) girls (and boys) in the audience made the movie just what the doctor ordered..

today it's back to work and back to the chaos of 3 kids and 5 dogs (yes i said 5) my dog procreates more than the Duggars.well, maybe not more...yet.

i am kind of sad this week leading up to Thanksgiving. i will be celebrating with mixed feelings. not really looking forward to it actually but i am determined to be in good spirits and a thankful and grateful heart. i should be in Texas.

i havent really spoke about any of that. and i really dont think this is the place. just know i am sad and melancholy and empty. but blessed still the same.

why? because someone said so....

why is damnit spelled damnit? Mr. Webster, it should be spelled like it sounds so as to be less confusing for folks like me .it's not pronounced damn-nit, is it?

why is there always ONE whopper that is not quite a "whopper"? i mean, the rest of the batch is not that way. but it never fails, i start to bite in to one, expecting that crunch and then i get to suck on the malt till it just tingly melts into my mouth. that hollow crunchless unmeltable malted milk ball just ruins the whole thing.

(now this one will prob. make no sense to you unless you watch UFC...which i doubt you do) but why does Joe Rogan say "One the button" everytime someone gets knocked out. it's horrendous and to me, is worse than hearing nails scratching across a blackboard...or my kids playing that little flute-a-phone thing......i know, random right!

why is it that people say "I'm just saying" of course you are just saying it. you just said it did'nt you? does saying "I'm just saying" make it more valid that you said it.

what is up with Bath & Body Works and.EVERY.good scent i fall in love with it and get mucho compliments on, i accidentally run out and frantically rush to my nearest mall (which is no small or quick feat for me with 3 kids and zero time) only to have my spirit crushed by some blonde with a voice only her mother could enjoy "i'm sorry, that scent has been discontinued".....what a tease.pfmphhh

where did they come up with the name Blackberry for a phone?

i really do have lots to do besides think up random things that have no purpose taking up this much space in my head....i promise......

just run with it Wendy

So yes, i am a dork! Have i told you that before? I own it and admit it without shame or thoughts of changing it anytime soon. When i was younger i tried to be cool, now i am just too busy and exhausted to even pretend.

what made me remind myself of that today, was when i rolled out of bed (well, not out...but i opened my eyes anyway) and heard the "duh-dong" of my blackberry reminding me that i have unchecked emails (and i thought this thing was going to make life easier, instead it constantly reminds me of all the things i have not done yet) so of course i have to check it. i am relieved that it is not a bath and body works, new york and company, or huggies ad, I AM SO SICK OF THEM. but i am afraid i will miss something so i wont unsubscribe.

yes, i am a dork

so i look and it is my words of wisdom for the day. If any of you have seen Run's House, which i love by the way, who needs to Cosby's, Bundy's or the Simpson's when you have the Simmons family. In every show ending he was sitting in the bubble bath with his smart phone typing a message. He calls them Rev Run's words of wisdom. AND I FOUND THE PLACE TO GET THEM...teeheehee. i warned you.

so every morning i am greeted by some tidbit that is witty, yet easily applied to my day to day.todays is especially nifty.

Daily Word
Put on a Happy Face
"of all the things you wear today. your attitude is the most important."

i had to stop and take a second and really reflect on that one. i am going to make an effort today (baby steps) to have a great attitude. hey...i did say TRY

are you there calgon, it's me, Wendy

whew....glad the weekend is over.

yes, i said it. I AM GLAD THE WEEKEND IS OVER.

We had some friends over Saturday night, and while i was moved to tears that one of them brought me a black wooden cutout of a rooster that i have NO idea where i am going to proudly display, it was still an exhausting 3 days.

Before the rooster bringing friend came over, i worked that morning (which i do twice a month) and while i enjoy the witty banter and stimulating conversation NOT about scooby doo and little pet shop, it is tiring.

not that i have time off on my time off. what with remodeling my house and writing a paper on Anti-communism and McCarthyism for my history class. Then there is the extreme room makeover Ryan and I gave the playroom. Throw in dropping off Kaileigh for a camping trip and picking Emory up from her first sleepover......... i would say that i am exhausted from just typing all that out but i have used that zinger before...

so let me just wrap up my post by saying words few have spoken (at least to me)

I AM SO GLAD IT'S MONDAY :)

employment not enjoyment

okay now,

i do not subscribe to the theory that you cannot and should not enjoy your job. quite the contrary i think you should not stay at a job you are not in love with. and i truly do LOVE my job......but i would love it a lot more if i could have time to blog.

all those smokers get an allotted time to go outside and inhale sticks of life shortening paper, why can't i have a "blog break"? i mean, ten minutes a day would improve my work performance and demeaner tremendously.

i wonder if i fill out the suggestions for improvement on one of the comment cards up front if management will go for it????

I got tired just writing this post

I saw this really neat idea and took it.....i disabled my comments.

i just don't want them. am sick of SOME of them. and just need a break and try to figure out some way to get back to me. to the joy of blogging, of sometimes sharing too much, of not being afraid to tell it and thus ignoring my blog.

it's lonely having to go it all alone. i once blogged so freely and openly and honestly. now i hide my head in the sand and plead whoa is me. I am afraid to check my facebook and myspace
AFRAID I SAY......what a wus i have become!!!

so now i want to get back to the sheer joy of blogging. of writing about MY life and doing it MY way. messing up and starting over each day counting my blessings and forgiving myself my faultss. LIfe is truly great right now.

where to begin? This weekend was pumpkin patch/Halloween costume time. Of course they screamed and ran around the pumpkin patch. Kaileigh tried to play punch the blow up crazy pumpkin, Isaiah was uncontrollable and Emory cried because we would not give her the FULLY LOADED wagon and she had to settle for the empty EXACTLY IDENTICAL wagon...we got the dang pumpkins though........and i went to pay $32 FOR SOME PUMPKINS???!!!?

are you kidding me? Don't they sell them at Wal-mart for like $3 a pumpkin? and why is that not as cool as the pumpkin patch?

ugh! the joys of being a single mom

So after the pumpkin fiasco we headed home. I broke out Isaiah's Scooby Doo costume and he wore it alllllllnight..... wonder how i am going to keep that clean for 5 more days. He sure is cute though.

Taco salad was a hit and before i knew it, it was benedryl, eer, bedtime.

now i can do 5 loads of laundry and write a 7 page paper, set out tommorrow's school clothes and take a shower...and then go to bed myself.

Not me Monday...the whiney edition

although i did have a grreeat weekend for the most part, i decided to do today's post a little differently. hopefully, i can air my grievances and then move the heck on with today....so here goes.

Once again, the whole idea is to kindof do a backwards post.....

This weekend i DID NOT finally tell off my soon to be ex-husband. After the ten text messages and five phone calls i said enough. i have been taking the approach of less is more. that silence is more powerful than my sharp words but come on. he is under the misconception that after 8 looonnnnggg months i am moving on too soon. and that my facebook,myspace, and blog writing is only meant to embaress him and his family (half of whom i have never met)
so....being the good blogger, what did i do? i blogged about it.

which leads me to this.....after reading said blog i DID NOT get two more very uneccesary and kindof offensive messages which i DID NOT ignore......well, after i read the first one i deleted without reading the second one. can't win for trying. Thought i was being pro-active and putting an end to a very stressful and frustrating situation but alas,

Today i DID NOT call my counselor and schedule an appointment. She is gonna love this new twist of an already delightful situation. She tells me all the time to feel the burn (she is under the impression that i am not dealing with my problems but rather trying to find something to numb what i feel).....hmmmm. now there is a thought.

This weekend is NOT UFC 104 and i am NOT going to spend some much needed fight night time with one of my besties :) very excited thank you very much.

oh wait, that was not whiney. i ran out of things to complain about. Now that i am done i think i will go and have myself a GREAT Monday..........

Not me Monday

It's time to revisit Not me Monday....a good ol post that i was quite loyal to (until i fell in love with Friend Makin Mondays)

the concept is simple... like backwards day....things that make you say "no, not me" (wink wink,nudge nudge) if I could start the day over, this list is how my day DID NOT GO.....


Today i DID NOT wake up late, miss breakfast and have to endure Miley Cyrus (loudly accompanied by Emory and Isaiah) singing "Party in the USA" three times

Today i DID NOT forget to put on deoderant.......and i DID NOT do the secret armpit smell check randomly all day.....

Today i DID NOT lose my phone, and i really really DID NOT miss it one bit....

Today i DID NOT let the rug right at the front door of my store where i work get caught in the door and then not only DID I NOT fix it....but i DID NOT crack up watching people almost trip..i know right...why is that so funny to me??

Speaking of things i DID NOT do at work.....i most definately DID NOT take the little flashlight with the red laser on it and shine it on peoples forehead,chest and rear end.....and i was hiding so noone knew where it was coming from :)

Today i DID NOT forget that i was going to drink more water...well, maybe i did do that one. :)

Friend Makin Mondays

This week the topic is

List of things you cannot live without.........

well, straying from the obvious (i.e. air,food,water,my kids and general hospital) i am going to try to list things out of the norm.......here goes

1.)YANKEE CANDLES


2.)80'S HAIR BANDS



3.)CARMEX



4.)MY TRAMPOLINE


5.)CRYING



6.)SWEATERS


7.)TETRIS


8.)CRAB MEAT WITH LOTS OF HOT BUTTER


9.)MY IPOD


10.)DID I SAY I AM OBSESSED WITH "GENERAL HOSPITAL" YET?

things your kids will never say to you.....

m ommy.......

~I THINK I WILL TURN OFF THE TV AND GO CLEAN MY ROOM

~OH MY GRACIOUS, IS IT 8:15 ALREADY? I SHOULD GO LAY OUT MY CLOTHES FOR TOMMORROW AND GET TO BED

~(PRETEND YOU SEE THREE BODIES, JUMPING OUT OF BED, ALL SMILES) GOODMORNING! WE ARE SO EAGER TO GET OUT OF BED AND ARE SO VERY THANKFUL YOU HAVE MADE US BREAKFAST

~MOMMY, BECAUSE I KNOW IT IS WRONG TO HIT MY THREE YEAR OLD BROTHER, I AM USING THE CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS YOU HAVE INSTILLED IN ME TO LET YOU KNOW THAT HE IS USING THE PLASTIC SWORD YOU GOT HIM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY TO HIT ME UPSIDE MY HEAD. I WILL NOT RETALIATE BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WILL BRING HIM HIS DUE PUNISHMENT...AND HE WILL OBEY YOU AND STOP HITTING ME AND MY SISTER.THANK YOU MOMMY

~I LIKE IT WHEN YOU THROW MY OLD TOILET PAPER ROLLS AND PAPER PLATES AND TAGS FROM NEW CLOTHES IN THE TRASH, EVEN THOUGH I WAS SAVING THEM FOR AN ART PROJECT THAT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO STARTING, I DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MY ROOM IS A TRASH PIT AND I AM THANKFUL YOU CLEANED IT, EVEN AFTER THE TEN TIMES YOU TOLD ME TO CLEAN IT.

~I KNOW YOU ARE WORKING ON YOUR HOMEWORK SO I WILL LET YOU DO THAT IN PEACE AND PLAY IN MY ROOM, OR THE BACKYARD, OR OUR PLAYROOM AND NOT IN YOUR ROOM.



So there you have it. A list of what I will not hear from my kids...

Reasons..

This post is going to be called "reasons", cause so many times i am asked to explain myself....which for the most part, i don't even know myself.

let the blogging begin.

REASONS.....i laugh at my kids

~Isaiah says words that only us, his family can understand (for ex; booby is movie, and riber is river-which he calls every puddle of patch of water he sees)
~Emory me if i am jealous of her brown skin because i have to paint mine on (spray tan)
~Kaileigh telling me i am like Madea, but my boobs don't hang quite that low yet...
GOTTA LOVE MOMMYHOOD HUH


REASONS.....I DON'T own a gun

~drop off/pick up times for school. dang school parents are the WORST drivers (myself not included)
~Joe Rogan or FlavorFlav on my television
~the neighbors dogs,or chickens, or donkeys...take your pick


REASONS......i think i have a personality disorder

~i eat my skittles,m&m's,or reeces pieces by twos and they have to be the same color or i throw them out the window
~i wear colored hair
~i love UFC


REASONS....i love VH1
~Charm School
~any of the xxxxinsert namexx of love shows
~ Behind the music...cause i am nosey like that :)


REASONS....i still believe in love

~Meredith and Mcdreamy
~Sam and Jason
~Peyton and Lucas


i would have a couple more reasons for you, but it is 5:20pm...time for the long drive home.and kid pick up,dinner,bathtime(hopefully for the kids AND me),homework,bedtime.
and tommorrow i get to get up and do it all over again....

humpday recap....

Let's see...where to begin?

hmmmm....okay. work.

i truly LOVE my job. really long hours (when you spend most of your waking hours somewhere NOT with your kids you start to feel guilty)so i do have to remind myself that it is for them and i am not a bad mommy for having to work full time. This is the first year i am not the homeroom mom for both the girls. and Isaiah's birthday party is coming up and this is the first time IN 12 YEARS AND TWO KIDS.... i did not hand make the invites.(please do not take away my parent card,i just did not have time) so yeah. already the party is a failure.....

back to work.i do love it. who would not love being a.)the new single girl that does not have a chest that hangs down to her knees (at least that they can see)and b.) one of FOUR girls working in a home improvement store....
YES,I AM LOVING WORK....at least as long as i can play the new girl card...
tommorrow is sushi thursday. love me some sushi so this should be interesting...:)


now on to school...
Loving that too. I am almost done with my second class and have a 97% at this point.so it is safe to say i am going to do well. It is a writing class which i can bs my way through so i am not worried and will not until i get to the math classes which is class 9....check back then and i may hate it by then. mostly i am so happy to be doing something productive with my life that i just love it all. stress and homework included..

my kids...
are good.Kaileigh is trying to be a teenager. and i am trying to hold her back...she has a facebook now (which i stalk obsessively)and is on the phone ALL THE TIME... i just want her to be a kid as long as she can, is that so horrible of me. she has so long to be grown..
Emory is good. thriving in school and goes to the boys and girls club afterschool (which she loves) so not much to report as far as she goes(which is great,cause she is my prison or president kid...it could go either way with that one)
Isaiah turns 3 in 3 days. sniff sniff. not sure how i am thinking about that one.he is my baby after all and I just dont know if i want to think of him as a THREE YEAR OLD. he did start preschool(you have to be 3 to go there. No babies, and they are serious about being SCHOOL)which he loves. He thinks he is such the big boy, just like his two sissies.....very cute.sniff sniff
i am sure i will have lots of pics soon of the big 3

I could spill many secrets on the love life,but Jan always preached the power of a lady so i will keep those to myself. Let's just say in true Wendy fashion it is drama filled and when i can i will update.
until then. i need to finsih some laundry..and a paper or three, so i need to go.

Love you mom...and think of you daily.....:)

Survey says

Now I Know My ABC's

TAKE THIS SURVEY!

Take this survey

A - Age:
31....old my daughter says
B - Bed size:
king..wish i was there now
C - Chinese Food Dish:
house fried rice MONG DYNASTY
D - Dentist name:
Dr. Watts
E - Early Bird or Night Owl?
with this schedule. early bird
F - Favorite color:
purple
G - Gold or Silver:
white gold
H - Height:
5'7
I - Ink as in tatto's you have:
two..going on 5
J - Job title:
Mommy
K - Kitchen Meal or Restaurant?
Kitchen
L - Living arrangements:
me and my babies
M - Month of birth:
February
N - Nicknames:
Breezy and Wen
O - On time or late:
always late
P - Pet Peeve:
rude kids and stupid girls
Q - Quote from a movie:
"all i have to do is stay black and die" ~Lean on me
R - Right or left handed:
depends on what i am doing
S - Siblings:
lately they are coming out of the woodwork :) 3 sisters, 1 brother
T - Time you wake up:
too early
U - Urgent thing on your to do list:
go to the bathroom
V - Vegetable you dislike:
peas..gross
W - Wishing for:
my first paycheck :)
X - X-rays you've had:
with 15 kidney stones and 3 kids. too many to count
Y - Yummy food you make:
meatloaf, pork chops, 4 layer potatos, green bean bundles
Z - Zoo Favorite:
reptiles

CLICK'>http://www.surveydumpster.com/takesurvey.php?id=961">CLICK HERE TO TAKE THIS SURVEY!

MySpace Surveys

opppsss

okay, so i had a post all typed and ready to post and for some reason all it said was
Is is Monday???

man is that the truth. so the whole long post i spent so much time on...is gone. and i am so stinking tired that i can not redo it right now. i will fix it...i promise.

until then, i love you mom :) i know i know, i am killing you with the non-computer activity but this work and school and baby thing is killing me. catch up is coming but until then i love you lots and think about you every day

is it Monday???

Friend Making Mondays

i always plan to do other posts during the week, but somehow this is the only post i do on a regular basis...hmmmmm..... i just can't help it. i love it. so here is my FRIEND MAKING MONDAY POST......

Kelsey @ ALL THAT IS GOOD is just getting back from vacay so someone else is hosting. but this week is a good one; and it is on my FAVORITE subject....fall. i truly do love fall more than any other time other than Christmas. and this year i have more reasons to look forward to it, CAUSE I GET TO MEET MY FAMILY... long story short. i am adopted and have just recently been reunited with my family. i will meet some of my family for the first time on Thanksgiving. yes, deep i know. check my previous posts for the whole story. as my mom and I agree, we need to write a screenplay for a lifetime movie...until then, you get my blog..... :)

What are some of your favorite things about fall?

this has got to be my most favorite time of year. From the candle scents to the outdoor colors i just love it all. sweaters and crisp air.....i just love it!!!


here is my list...

UGH.....ME AND YANKEE CANDLES...LONG STANDING LOVE AFFAIR


AND I DOOOOO LOVE THE LEAVES IN ALL THEIR PRETTY COLORS OF ORANGES AND REDS AND BROWNS


FAMILY TIME AT THE PUMPKIN PATCH...THE SCHOOL CARNIVALS AND HALLOWEEN AND CARVING PUMPKINS...ALL THOSE THINGS WE GET TO DO THAT MAKE MEMORIES...THAT IS SO SPECIAL TO ME.

CRISP AIR. THE KIND WHERE YOUR WINDOW IS DOWN AND YOU DONT HAVE TO RUN THE AC. WHEN YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATH IN AND YOU CAN FEEL IT IN YOUR LUNGS.

THIS YEAR. THIS FALL, I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR. I WILL GET TO SPEND IT WITH MY MOM. THE MOM THAT GAVE BIRTH TO ME. AND THE SISTERS I ADORE.....I AM VERY BLESSED AND VERY EXCITED FOR US ALL TO BE TOGETHER....SO THIS FALL WILL BE VERY SPECIAL....