~I THINK I WILL TURN OFF THE TV AND GO CLEAN MY ROOM
~OH MY GRACIOUS, IS IT 8:15 ALREADY? I SHOULD GO LAY OUT MY CLOTHES FOR TOMMORROW AND GET TO BED
~(PRETEND YOU SEE THREE BODIES, JUMPING OUT OF BED, ALL SMILES) GOODMORNING! WE ARE SO EAGER TO GET OUT OF BED AND ARE SO VERY THANKFUL YOU HAVE MADE US BREAKFAST
~MOMMY, BECAUSE I KNOW IT IS WRONG TO HIT MY THREE YEAR OLD BROTHER, I AM USING THE CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS YOU HAVE INSTILLED IN ME TO LET YOU KNOW THAT HE IS USING THE PLASTIC SWORD YOU GOT HIM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY TO HIT ME UPSIDE MY HEAD. I WILL NOT RETALIATE BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WILL BRING HIM HIS DUE PUNISHMENT...AND HE WILL OBEY YOU AND STOP HITTING ME AND MY SISTER.THANK YOU MOMMY
~I LIKE IT WHEN YOU THROW MY OLD TOILET PAPER ROLLS AND PAPER PLATES AND TAGS FROM NEW CLOTHES IN THE TRASH, EVEN THOUGH I WAS SAVING THEM FOR AN ART PROJECT THAT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO STARTING, I DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MY ROOM IS A TRASH PIT AND I AM THANKFUL YOU CLEANED IT, EVEN AFTER THE TEN TIMES YOU TOLD ME TO CLEAN IT.
~I KNOW YOU ARE WORKING ON YOUR HOMEWORK SO I WILL LET YOU DO THAT IN PEACE AND PLAY IN MY ROOM, OR THE BACKYARD, OR OUR PLAYROOM AND NOT IN YOUR ROOM.
So there you have it. A list of what I will not hear from my kids...
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