Somethings just fit within the scope of your take on life. There are people and situations you can handle with ease, and then there is pain and complications that you can't for whatever reason. I'm not quite sure how that works, I just know that it does.
By things, I guess I mean people.
I have often heard (but seldom re-quote that saying people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime) it's so cliche and vague. I don't think it explains enough and leaves you needing more. My version would go something life this
PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON...I choose to believe that we are not supposed to know the bigger picture all at one time. That we would miss out on all the little moments that make up that picture and life would be less rich, less full, just less...So when I pray I don't ask God to tell me what to do I ask him to help me get through whatever it is he has in store for me. I trust him that he puts those things in my life for me to learn and grow from but that it is up to me to do the work.
A SEASON....I choose to believe that sometimes it is good and sometimes it may be a bit harder. Just like with weather seasons, you need the rain and the storms in order for new things to grown and bloom (okay that was cornball as well but that is what I got right now sorry) Timing is sometimes off and that sometimes you need a break to regroup and process what that person or thing brought to your life and whether it was helpful or hurtful. It's up to you whether that something (or person) is there for the next season
A LIFETIME...I choose to believe that everyone and everything you go through can be carried with you for the rest of your life. I know that some of my most meaningful relationships and experiences were fleeting but had more of an impact that others that still continue on today. Length of time does not mean less in value.
The human emotion is so complex and I know that to me personally sometimes I want it to work out better than it does. I want to make things right that I have no idea how to mend and I want to hold my tongue especially when I just can't seem to do that. I want to be an adult but in reality some situations have me as raw and emotional and just plain scared as a child would be. So I have to deal with it the best way I can. Sometimes I do that better than others. All I can say is that I am a work in progress and I KNOW that it's a fact that I am stronger and doing a better job of it than at this time last year. I HOPE I can say the same thing next year and the year after that. I am sorry for the people that I have hurt and I am making an attempt to just stop rationilizing and say I am sorry. I was wrong.
I changed the name of my blog a year or so ago to "it is what IT is" because I say that so often when dealing with my problems. But I am seeing that I have also used it as a crutch. I can shrug my shoulders and say it so nonchalantly like that alone will fix all my problems or at least make it to where I don't have ot fix them myself.
Can you tell that today is my counseling day? lol. I hope I saved up something to tell my shrink although talking for me has never been the issue it's learning how to shut up and listen :) This whole process of letting myself feel instead of numbing or self medicating is sometimes so hard, I really just want to crawl back in bed and stay there all day. Wish me luck today.
By things, I guess I mean people.
I have often heard (but seldom re-quote that saying people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime) it's so cliche and vague. I don't think it explains enough and leaves you needing more. My version would go something life this
PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON...I choose to believe that we are not supposed to know the bigger picture all at one time. That we would miss out on all the little moments that make up that picture and life would be less rich, less full, just less...So when I pray I don't ask God to tell me what to do I ask him to help me get through whatever it is he has in store for me. I trust him that he puts those things in my life for me to learn and grow from but that it is up to me to do the work.
A SEASON....I choose to believe that sometimes it is good and sometimes it may be a bit harder. Just like with weather seasons, you need the rain and the storms in order for new things to grown and bloom (okay that was cornball as well but that is what I got right now sorry) Timing is sometimes off and that sometimes you need a break to regroup and process what that person or thing brought to your life and whether it was helpful or hurtful. It's up to you whether that something (or person) is there for the next season
A LIFETIME...I choose to believe that everyone and everything you go through can be carried with you for the rest of your life. I know that some of my most meaningful relationships and experiences were fleeting but had more of an impact that others that still continue on today. Length of time does not mean less in value.
The human emotion is so complex and I know that to me personally sometimes I want it to work out better than it does. I want to make things right that I have no idea how to mend and I want to hold my tongue especially when I just can't seem to do that. I want to be an adult but in reality some situations have me as raw and emotional and just plain scared as a child would be. So I have to deal with it the best way I can. Sometimes I do that better than others. All I can say is that I am a work in progress and I KNOW that it's a fact that I am stronger and doing a better job of it than at this time last year. I HOPE I can say the same thing next year and the year after that. I am sorry for the people that I have hurt and I am making an attempt to just stop rationilizing and say I am sorry. I was wrong.
I changed the name of my blog a year or so ago to "it is what IT is" because I say that so often when dealing with my problems. But I am seeing that I have also used it as a crutch. I can shrug my shoulders and say it so nonchalantly like that alone will fix all my problems or at least make it to where I don't have ot fix them myself.
Can you tell that today is my counseling day? lol. I hope I saved up something to tell my shrink although talking for me has never been the issue it's learning how to shut up and listen :) This whole process of letting myself feel instead of numbing or self medicating is sometimes so hard, I really just want to crawl back in bed and stay there all day. Wish me luck today.
No comments:
Post a Comment