Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Feb recap although it's not March


shhhh! Don't tell but I had a birthday (my 32nd) the shhh part is that I have been 22 years old for about ten years and I am really thinkin I am pulling it off well.

Well, until my kids get involved and tell how old I am.

you can't win em all or so i've been told.....




This year all i really wanted was a Tano. I could not decide on a color. Do i go brown and basic so I can carry it all the time? Do i go bold orange or yellow so that the world notices my ultra hip handbag??

I let Ryan pick and I will say he did pretty good. So I am the overly petty, borderline superficial owner of a Tano. Now I just have to make sure it does not get wet, soiled by the bag of french fries that stays perched by it on my front seat, gotta make sure no pens are left uncapped or anyone breaths on it wrong.

you know, all the important things to be thinking about in life.






on a more serious note...

life in MY world has taken a few more turns for me this month. school is great (i am in a writing class which is a no brainer for me, except we are learning APA writing style and blah blah blah blah) so it is taking brains. Kids are good. Work is so-so right now. National (where I have been working) filied chapter 11 and the lay offs started. Since i was low on the todem poll i got let go. I have never been laid off so I will admit i was devestated. But after the unemployment kicked in and i am actually making more than i was and i get to sleep in. it's not so bad. But today i got a job offer......so i guess we will see.

Ryan and I are on again, off again (today being off again) i really dont know what to say about that so i usually just don't say much at all. I hate being conflicted and i hate being in limbo. It's so much easier just to be single sometimes. at least then you KNOW what is going on.

I am finalizing my divorce soon. On March 28 it'll be a year. of course going through so many emotions right now. I really dont know what i will think knowing it's over and final. Up until now i think i just went through the motions of learning to live single again. I think i knew it was going to get hard at some point but i just assumed i was handeling it good.so many things i would like to be doing differently. Where does the motivation come from?

but i will survive. that is what i do. i have three reasons that i know this to be true.







and in the end....despite age, income, love life and uncertainty....do i really need anything more than them???

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