i'm sorry....i miss you....

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love and suddenly
It's like a battle-field

One word turns into a.....
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield

Can't go back now
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing

These times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield

Why does love always feel like
Can't swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender
then we both gonna lose what we had

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like ...
a battlefield
You better go and get your armor
I never meant to start a war (start a war)
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for




why oh why...do they not give us emotionally challenged folks a guide..
just a few hints to say
don't say this and be careful of that
i mean, they have "INSERT TOPIC OF CHOICE for dummies"
every subject under the sun
except life

and yes, i know that i should know this stuff by now
but i really am dense.
i get caught up in the excitement and emotion and just awesome-ness of the gift
and then i act like myself and mess it up...
not intentionally mind you, i just open my mouth and that seems to be enough

i am alot to handle i do know this...
not that i am putting myself down or having a pity party.
i just know that i am alot to handle
and god bless those amazingly patient and brave souls that have figured out how to handle me....they are few and far between

this is my white flag.
i dont know how to fix this.
i dont know how to fix me.
but the point should not be that i am flawed
CAUSE I AM
but more importantly that i miss you. and i waited too long for this to be it.
not one single day has gone by that i do not think of you. i am sad.

and hey, i just put myself out there on the internet for EVERYONE to read
(and i am learning that they do.....)
Loved you before i knew "you" as you..