Real

I won't lie and say I haven't kept up with you...
I have watched you grow up albeit from afar
and i won't even try to pretend seeing you in pictures was enough..

I needed to hug you, I needed to breathe you in
I needed you to hear me and I needed you to understand

I needed the possibility for something greater
and i needed the hope for something real

I dream that one day you would see me
would seek me out, and ask me what I think
I dream that one day you would call me that 6 letter word and that it will come from your heart
as the older .....that I truly want to be

There is something I can't quite put into words surrounding new beginnings, about building and creating a foundation
about fulfilling a long neglected yearning
and occupying someone else's empty void

And I treasure this chance for our own version of "something real"
real relationship, real honesty, real giving and recieving, real healing
real love and real hope, real encouragement and real understanding
real forgiving, real freedom from judgement

real "trying to figure this all out"

I have no illusions about this being easy
I have no illusions that at a time or two we might one or all need a break
but for all my fear and trepidation....
for all the things I don't know that will come
I do know that whatever you end up being to me
and I to the both of you..

that we will be "real"