Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Art of Balance

What I dream of is an art of balance. Henri Matisse

That has been my topic of prayer this week. Balance.

For so long it's been either or. Either I am Wendy, or I am Mommy. It's like I haven't been able to reconcile the two and comfortably say,,,I am Wendy and I am a mommy.
I feel guilty when I do for me, and I feel restless when I only do for them.

There has to be some middle ground? There has to be a way to devote attention to them in a way that shows them they are loved and then find time to devote to myself (see, I feel guilty just saying that out loud...or typing it online for all the world to judge me whichever way you look at it)

I count too don't I???

I am not textbook, never have been. I would like to think that when I have them I am all about being a mom. I really am. We do cross country, cheer, softball, dance, church, school plays and playdates. We are a family of readers so the library is a staple in our house, we do the farmer's market, plant flowers and garden together.We have family dinner nights and sleepovers, fishing and cookouts with the fam.

Is it bad that I sneak in time with my friends now and then. In addition to all of that I get to go out to eat, shop, watch the fights and sometimes shake a tail feather with the coolest bunch of girls I will ever get to call my girls...it's what gets me through not having a "mate", the craziness of my family situation, and the breakdown "i'm not good enough" moments that happen from time to time with me....

Is is bad that I don't feel "bad" that I am not always with my kids? We are incredibly blessed to have such a HUGE extended family. grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, godbaby mama's and daddies and freinds that fill our lives provide me with time that is just for me.

Just in writing this post I feel better already. You have to have balance. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. and you can't live your life based on what you think someone else is going to say about you. So I choose to be both. I am Wendy. and I am a mommy.













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