Friend Making Mondays...man I just did this post

Today Friend Makin Mondays is being guest hosted by Amber over at AEFILKINS


and here is what she wants to know (oh yeah, if you don't know what FMM is by now visit Kasey @ ALL THAT IS GOOD to get the scoop.)

Name 5 toys that remind you of your childhood:

Which is not as easy as it looks when you want to be original and creative (and everyone else already did their posts a million hours ago, cause I don't get off of work till 6pm now. sniff) so bear with me as I try to be clever.

okay, so once I got started I could not stop, this was a fun one

here we go

NUMBER 1. ahhhh. many happy hours were spent playing with my brothers He-Man "Masters of the Universe" toys. I was not so into She-Ra for some reason just the man with the silver breastplate fighting off Skeletor and Snake Mountain. good times good times. Heck, I even saw the movie

NUMBER 2 is my good ol pogo ball



that is until the air all went out of it and I twisted my ankle on the dang thing.

NUMBER 3 still gives me goosebumps when I think of that freaky electronic sound but I loved my Simon game all the same



NUMBER 4 is my PRE-Tetris obsession ATARI (imagine if you could have taken that into the bathroom like I can my gameboy. I could have skipped Jr. High and just been so less worse for the wear )



and no list of my favorite childhood toys would be complete without the good old lite bright




many happy hours were spent spelling out naughty words aimed at my mom for making me go to bed at 8:30 (AND I WAS 14), or for not letting me watch 90210 (altough I did it anyway), having to wear identical matching dresses she made me and my sister to church all the time, and who could forget the hideous yellow shag carpet and sunflower wallpaper (that if I had my choice I would use in my room in a heart beat now!!!) ah the pain....I mean joys of childhood. This trip down memory lane sure was swell.....:)

Happy Birthday Nola

Friend Making Mondays

So I am actually going to get to post a Friend Making Monday post ON Monday!!! I feel accomplished (until I look at my messy house and to do list that is) but anyway, back to FMM. If you don't know what Friend Making Monday is visit here and Kasey over at ALL THAT IS GOOD will fill you in.


This is how it goes:


“5 Senses Tag”
We are to list 4 things we love, and one thing we dislike, for each category.



Smell
Like:
1. Yankee Candles, the clean scents that is (flowery scents, not so much)
2.Newly lotioned up baby skin
3. Fresh air coming in through my windows (until my allergies kick in and I am sneezing, blowing my nose, and convinicing my kids no mommy is not crying)
4. Going over to my mom and dad's and walking into their closet and smelling one of them. Sounds weird I know but it is such a comforting familiar smell and as I get older I really appreciate and miss that feeling.
Dislike:
1. How my kids smell like a wet dog after they have played really hard


Touch
Like:
1. My son's baby blankets. The chenille-ee feeling ones with the silk on one side and the bumps of the raised material on the other. Especially when he is in my lap and I am rocking him to sleep.
2. The feel of water when you get to go swimming for the first time in summer
3. I love to play in the rain (especially in the evening when I have had a long day) It feels good to not care, to just let the rain fall on me and dance or spin or jump on the trampoline (okay, so that sounds very immature I know)
4. Clean Sheets. I love when I put fresh sheets on the bed and then crawl in...it's the best!
Dislike:
1. Cleaning the sink after washing very dirty dishes. I can't even telling you what looking at all the food wet, squishy and mixed together does to me. UGH

Sound
Like:
1. Hearing a small child mispronounce (sp?) a word.
2. The sound of my children's laughter. You know, the big belly laugh
3. Rain (are we seeing a pattern here) on my window
4. A slow sweet song that means something to me
Dislike:
1. This is a tie between whining and the sound of electricity flowing through the light bulbs in a public place (like the health department or when I was in Jr. High)

Taste
1. strawberry banana smoothies from Sonic
2. Cottage cheese
3. homemade mashed potatos with lots of butter and sour cream and cheese
4. Dr. Pepper after I have not had any to drink for awhile
Dislike:
1. peas. vomit!!!!!

Sight
Like:
1. grass, leaves, flowers, anything that grows newly in Spring
2. sunsets, stars, clouds and rain
3. half off or buy one get one free signs
4. My kids when they do something for the first time, especially when they figure it out on their own
Dislike:
1. Harm done to children. It breaks my heart (even if it is fictional in the movies) I think that is the worst thing you could ever do, hurt a child

There you have it! All 5 Senses covered: Good and the bad!

this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be A-ok....

all my bills have all gotten paid
i saved the bad, i broke the bank
this could have been a slow song
a laundry list of all the wrongs
but at the end of the day
this is my beautiful disaster piece I’ve made
and it goes, and i quote, and i never would lie:

i don't understand the numbers
but my faith is in the math
and the odds are all this pain will even out in the end
and we'll look back and laugh


and to all the hearts i've broken
and the ones that once broke mine
i've got suspicions all will be forgive in time
all you gotta do is call them up and say:

this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be A-ok....
this will all make perfect sense someday
there’s got to be a reason for the rain

and if it ever gets bad, i mean really bad
i'll move to Nova Scotia and forget the life i had
be up at nine each morning down by the shore
collecting things that fell off boats in storms
Okay, so i might never but it’s nice to know the options there
the options there...

this will all make perfect sense someday
i'll be A-ok....
this will all make perfect sense someday
there’s got to be a reason for the rain
a reason for the rain, a reason for the rain
the reason for the rain, for the rain

and it doesnt help that i keep biting my lip in the same place

i know this is my second post but i have to, bear with me

So after I read Kasey's post over at ALL THINGS GOOD, and then I went to MY CHIHUAHUA BITES and saw her post I decided to join in on the fun. so hear goes my FRIEND MAKING MONDAY, DONE ON ALMOST WEDNESDAY post

WHO ARE YOUR TOP 5 CELEBRITY CRUSHES.

In order from 5 to 1 here goes. Keeping in mind I totally stick to character so I will refer to them as how i see them in my fantasies people....

NUMBER 5 is Travis Barker
yes, I know he is completely covered in tattoos and looks like he has not showered in days, but I am kindof into that in some unexplained way. plus, i have always liked a bad guy with attitude and I loved "Meet the Barkers"



NUMBER 4 is Lucas Scott
Even though in real life Chad Michael Murray is a two timer who prefers 19 year old girls remember I said I STAY IN CHARACTER and Lucas Scott loves Peyton and is a good guy at heart, and he is a writer...how hot is that :)



NUMBER 3 is JASON MORGAN from General Hospital
Okay, so he is not with Sam which is a HUGE reason I fast forward through most of my DVR'd episodes stopping only for the scenes with the two of them in it. They are supposed to get back together so my faith in soaps will be restored if and when that happens.....



NUMBER 2 was really hard for me. I feel a little torn here guys. but i am going to go with EDWARD CULLEN
Notice that once again it is all about the character. I love this mysterious smooth intense creature. Rob, not so much.




NUMBER ONE may seem an odd choice, but it's JOHN MAYER
I have this thing for a man that can sing. I think it is admirable that I chose a not so hot guy as my number one. My baby's godmother will appreciate that in ways that might allow her to forgive my other choices (ha ha, huh Syard) I just have this thing for the singing my own angst thing. might be the depression talking, but I have the songs "comfortable" and "in repair" on repeat right now



so there you have it, my top 5. i think i am seeing a disturbing pattern in guys i am attracted to right now. and it is kind of scaring me.......

colors in Spanish and snot nose kids

Today i was at work, preschool graduation is coming up and we are busy getting ready for the singing of the colors in Spanish, and counting from 5 to 100 by 5's and who could forget "see you later alligator, see you later friends of mine, we had a great year give a BIG cheer, we sure had an awesome time" (sung to Ol my darlin).

all those things that make parents think their kids are ready for kindergarten. And don't get me wrong, my kids are ready (most of them anyway) I am not too sure about the glue eating, nose picking, give me that toy or i will hit you with a wooden block bully but that is another story. Is it wrong of me to wish that one of these days one of the kids grows some cahonas and just whacks him up the side of the head with the wooden xylophone sticks???

bad teacher bad!!!

Anyway, back to my day. We were filling out the ALL ABOUT ME papers that will go on my bulletin board with cute little cap and gown pictures and I had one of those moments that made me completely tear up. I will admit, I have a favorite. This petite little boy that looks like he is 3 years old he is so small, but has a beautiful face that reminds me of Isaiah is my favorite. His name is Abhinar (pronounced ABI, dont know how that is possible but that is how they say it) He speaks with an accident, his family is from India. I just love the heck out of him. He is so adorable. He speaks with a stutter and his volume is so soft you have to bend down to hear him. And maybe that is why he likes me, because I alwasy bend down and let him talk, however long it takes. anyway, we were filling out his page and we got to the question "What is you favorite things about coming to school" and he said
"my teacher"

Well, I have not been there that long so I thought he meant my aide (who has been there awhile) or the floater that comes into the room cause they all love Mr. Johnny. and then he looked up at me with those big brown eyes and sad clearly "YOU"
I teard up. I was just so taken aback. I tried to get him to name several other things "don't you wanna put Ashton (his BFF) or the blocks or the big slide outside?" no, he said, you.

Can you beat that?

Not for one second do I take for granted that I get to go to work and teach 28 most prized posessions. I spend more time with them than their own parents do if you think about it. And I would be heartbroken if I thought my kids were sitting in the back of a room somewhere alone and pushed away.

So even if they are snotty, stinky, mean, dirty, potty mouthed, telling me they hate me and don't have to listen to me because I am not their momma I am gonna give them a hug (and trust me, sometimes I do want to shower afterwards but they deserve it, they are just kids and deserve love too)

okay, that sounded not so nice but it is the brutal truth from your childs preschool teacher. We do notice if their pants are too small and their nose is covered in snot. but we love them anyway!!!!

my rant is done, my day was good, tommorrow is my day off (thank heavens, those kids were horrible today)

goodnight yall,

doing my part to go green

i had this crazy idea that buying new stuff for when i move into my new house would help get me out of this funk i was in. So i went to Wal-mart and spent money i do not have on new bedding for the kids (cause they do need it, and that does not count as spending money on myself right?) i decided since i am starting over i am going to try to start new habits. and what better habit than to go green (i feel like kate on Jon & Kate plus 8, minus 5 kids and the HUGE house and tv cameras)The bedding is 100% organic cotton designed to sustain the health of my kids and our planet. pretty snazzy sounding huh! That they are adorable and were on sale played little part in my splurge :)

my first ever green purchase was this and i can't wait until my youngest 2 kids are forced to share a room cause their beds will be so dang cute.

this is Emory's bedding



close up of the design



and this is little mans bedding



close up of his design




what i love most is that it is not matchy matchy, which i tend to do. I just want their room to be a place they want to go hang out (and i would not be able to come up with descriptive words for how i would feel if they would actually SLEEP there!!!) it's a good thing they like each other though cause if my older daughter had to share a room with anyone other than her Twilight posters it would alter the course of her life, she would start wearing black, have every piercing she could and blame me for ruining her life....... she is sooo my child.

but anyways, now i have the bedding. just gotta find the house. wish me luck K

grey skies are gonna clear up...put on a happy face

after a hard week being depressed there is nothing like the chuckle i got after seeing this face,



crash into my bedroom saying dobeeee dobeee dobeee dobeeee........cheeks working overtime and giggles making it hard for me to understand the sounds coming out of his mouth.

and than we have miss thing,



who cannot for the life of her understand why Cameron Diaz's best friend in "What Happens in Vegas" punches a man "in his privacy momma"?????

so if you can imagine the GREAT mood i am in!!! Kids are WAYYYY better than antidepressants (though i do love those too)

i changed up my playlist a bit. found some new artists to brood over. Aqualung, Damien Rice, Lisa Hannigan and my latest crush John Mayer. i have found that i really enjoy the music that you dont hear on the radio. The stuff i have to dig for online and just stumble on by accident. the moody, complicated, chord striking lyrics of someone who writes their own words and sings their own pain. Nothing like a hard time put on display for the rest of the world to suffer alongside.

love it! love it! so anyways, my weekend is not all that bad so far. too bad it is too dang short.

don't you love swiping from other people's blog posting??? Thanks for the insight Nola's cousin Kristy

"Could you let down your hair and be transparent for awhile,
To see if you’re human after all?
Honesty is a hard attribute to find when we all want to seem like
We’ve got it all figured out
But let me be the first to say that I don’t have a clue
I don’t have all the answers
Ain’t going to pretend like I do
Just trying to find my way, just trying, the best that I know how…
…Well I haven’t memorized all the cute things to say
Maybe I’ll master this art-form some day
If I quote all the lines off the top of my head
Will you believe that I fully understand all these things I’ve read?

"trying" by lifehouse

the bride wore a dress....by noone

so i took a break from my tweenie bopper obsession with

and watched this instead



made me wonder who of my friends (past and present) would fill the circle of amazing ladies that make up Carrie's crew. of course i would be Carrie since it's my fantasy....
i think this is a good pic of me don't you think


this would be Elaine..and she just had the new boob job to prove my point


and here is what BJQJ would look like...Charlotte has nothing on her


as much as she will hate reading this, Syard is my Miranda


but without the red hair and big clunky necklace oh yeah, and Syard is not an attorney. but close enough to hear her argue a point

and what would i be without Shawnda


okay, so it a bit odd that i would cast her as Stanford Blatch, Carrie's not so heterosexual friend, and no insult intended, but i was refering to the way he is up to date on all things trendy and how he always seems to be Carrie's sidekick when she needs him.okay, foot in the mouth but i stand by it. Thank the lord i am not a casting director

and now, who would my big be???? i don't know that i have found him. or maybe i have and i just don't want to say......hmmmmmmmmmm


between sniffles i found myself grabbing my journal to write down quotes (i did not know how much i missed doing this since the show has gone off the air but i really love this chick and her...er my, since i am her in my fantasy...wisdom) here are some of my favs.







some of my most faves do not have fancy schmancy graphics....so i will just type them out here their words are enough

why is it that we are willing to write our own vows??? but not our own rules?

and then this one made me cry

some love stories are not epic novels,
some are short stories....
but that does not mean
they are any less filled with love.....

maybe i had it all wrong, maybe my marriage would have worked out if this had been what i was after.....

Friend Making Mondays

Welcome to another Monday full of Makin' Friends! Aren't friends great!?

You can go Here for info and the rules of FMM. I hope you will join us to make some bloggin' friends. Because believe me: There is no better place to make some great ones than right here at FMM! Can I get an AMEN!

It's been awhile since i did a "normal" post instead of my i'm getting divorced angst posts. So this is a nice break. Now onto the topic.


What is the Best Advice someone has ever given you? You can share one or as many as you want. Just Share!:


Here's mine:

One day while riding in the car, my 6 yr old (who was 4 at the time, i think) asked me if i remembered what the yellow care bears name was. i asked her "don't you remember?" and she said, "no, i don't have a very good remembery", but that's okay if you don't remember all the stuff all the time, right?

i am applying that now. i don't have to remember all the little things, it's the big things that count. like how i felt raising Kaileigh on my own all those years ago, the pride that i could do it without a man (cause look what happens when you get one of those huh? LOL)

and how i feel this enormous swell of awe at how intelligent, funny and creative Emory is. how everyone loves her and just wants to be around her cause she is so dang funny.

and i could never forget the flutters my heart makes when Isaiah comes up to kiss my cheek or the cute things he says (like "no Hobby mommy" when i want him to sit on the potty"

those are the things i choose to remember.

and i love this quote that someone gave me as a form of advice. it rocks!

“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will.”
Edward Everett Hale

i am ending with a quote i have heard a zillion times best describing the philosophy of my god baby mama (long story, that's another post)

she says "if you do what youve always done, you'll get what you always got"

aint that the truth

yesterday at work was fun. did the whole easter egg hunt/party thing and not just the kids had a blast. i wish i could bottle up their pure enjoyment of the little things in life. when the biggest diasaster is Ashton taking Connor's center pass and put his own in its place. Then he sees how upset Connor is and puts the correct pass in the spot and tells him sheepishly "sorry"
i hate having to deal with seeing my husband not wearing his ring, short sales of my house forcing me to move this month, and having to finally sit down and tell my kids....not so much fun even though i am looking forward to finally getting on with it. (whatever IT is)

i went out last night. not to a club but just to a bar. i actually dressed up and looked like a girl for a change and it was nice to be around other people my age. i did not stay long, as it just is not the same (guess the fact that i am not 21 anymore is very obvious to me right about now) but it was fun all the same. Heading to Fort Smith tonight to stay with my parents where we will no doubt have to talk again about my situation AGAIN.....sounds fun huh

oh yeah, i almost forgot. this is not a great pic. i will post better ones soon but here is my new "Hairycut" as Lillian called it

hairy cuts, refusing to sit on the hobby and big girl panties

Today i actually had a chuckle or two. Got to school (albeit i was late, but i can't blame that on the divorce i am always late) and i got lots of ohhhs and ahhs for what Lillian calls my "hairy cut" my kids actually like the 4 inches i cut off (and Aiden said i am "so Pwetty now")

gotta love you some five year olds huh (especially since i get to give them back)

i heard Isaiah down the hall screaming "no hobby" which cracked me up (that is his way of refusing to go POTTY and it felt good to hear that it's not just me he does that to)

then i was playing catch up on my blog reading and actually laughed out loud (sending my nosey 11 yr old into my room to see what the unfamilar sound was coming out of my mouth) was reading Nola's blog and she was explaining what "big girl panties" and i was reminded that i need to put mine on and quit being so whiney lately.

all hail the big girl panties


not these


but these

not a bad day after all

so today was a suprising first day off. It is a good thing when you get a day off that you are SUPPOSED to be off of work. but since i truly had no kids, i was kinda lost for the first couple of hours. then i got over it.

i went and got my hair did. i will post a pic soon, it's short and blond and lots of fun....oh yeah, did i mention i have bangs. i cleaned and got caught up on my tv shows. (except for housewives, i am kinda disappointed with that show right now) and of course i got caught up on my blog reading.

so all in all it was not a bad day. not too painful, and i did not stay in bed all day which was what i wanted to do. i might be able to do this afterall.

im gonna be alright

work is great! i can't believe that i waited so long to just walk away and do what i love all along. i love being a teacher. being in an office was never me, it was what the me i thought everyone wanted me to be would be.
i am greeted every morning with hugs and smiles and eyes that light up, because they get to spend the day with me. and i find myself halfway through my ten hour day feeling tired. until i feel a set of five year old arms wrapping themselves around my waist and saying those precious words "i love you ms. wendy"
how do you top that?

making tons of money is so over-rated! making yourself feel that you are doing something worthwhile and touching a life is not!

kinda makes the whole upcoming issue of moving, going through a divorce and uprooting my family seem not important. those are things i cannot change. what i can change is my attitude (and my drinking habits) :)

so for tonight, if only for tonight, i am just fine.....

no. i am not going to call you back.

okay, so i really let it all out just now,,,,,and then i deleted it.
some things are better left unsaid.

i am still getting divorced.Don't know where we will live yet. new job is great, only thing that it is great right now. have not told the kids, but they are getting the hint. living off of booze and Twilight. will be okay eventually.

just so that we are clear on how crappy i really am doing right now. :) :)

thank you Nola's friend

i went to my friend Nola's blog and intended to leave her a comment for her 150th post but was really overwhelmed by the poem her guest blogger posted. How delicate and loving it is, really the definition of the kind of mommy i want to be remembered as being (verses the complicated, crying, sad mommy i am right now) and it really touched my heart. Made me go kiss by babies and tell them i am here and i will be the best mommy i know how to be....despite myself.

TEA FOR THREE


Come and sit with me and we'll have tea
And talk of things that were and things that are to be
Of places we will go and things that we will see
Just the two of us
My dear daughter and me


A little wooden table
With chairs for two, not three
Yes, of course you may bring your bear
And place him on my knee.
No longer just the two of us
It's tea for three, I see
My dear daughter, the bedraggled bear and me


The years passed by and you grew up
Framed in memory, I still see
Cherub hands dimpled daintily, clutching ivory cup of tea
Twinkle laughter owns the moment
Baby faced and full of glee
Starshine dusted by the angels
Oh, God's precious gift to me!


If I live to be a hundred
I shall never richer be
Then when I shared your dazzling presence
And together we sipped tea.
My dear Daughter, the bedraggled bear, and Me!
~ Lee Scott

i'm still alive

i type, then i delete. every day i have done this. i just don't have words right now to really honestly describe the sadness i feel. sadness, void in my heart and just numbness that is taking over my life.
i have found some overwhelmingly great friends i did not know i had, listening and just plain being there even though others have told me how "bad" they are for me. i have made some great friends through this blog that inspire and are just say "i am here" and that lifts me up (thank you Nola and Amber W). and then i have found the friends i thought were thick and thin that just judge and condem me,that can't understand and just don't want to see how bad it really is, and i just hit the ignore button on my phone

i can't deal with that now.

so i start a new job tommorrow. i will wake up and go to work and get through the day somehow,, like i do every other day. sorry i don't have much to say hopefully that will change soon.

no words

Just for today
I will not worry what tomorrow will bring, no
I’m gonna try something new and walk through this day
Like I’ve got nothing to prove, yeah
Although I have the best intentions
I can't predict anyones reactions
So I’ll just do my best
I'll put one foot in front of the other
Keep on moving forward
And let God do the rest

I don’t know what’s gonna happen
That’s alright with me
I open up my arms and I embrace the mystery
I don’t know what’s gonna happen
That’s alright with me
I open up my arms and I embrace the mystery

Just for today
I’m telling the truth like it's going out of style
I'm gonna swallow my pride and be who I am
And I don’t care who don’t like it
I feel the fear but I do it anyway
I won't let it stand in the way
I know what I must do
There’s no guarantee that it’ll be easy
But I know that it’ll be fulfilling
And it's time for me to show improve

It’s okay not to know
Exploration is how we grow
It’s ok to not have the answer
Cuz sometimes
It’s the question that matters

I don’t know what’s gonna happen
That’s alright with me
I open up my arms and I embrace the mystery
I don’t know what’s gonna happen
That’s alright with me
I open up my arms and I embrace the mystery

no i didn't!!!

okay, so these are things that DID happen to me this week so far but like everything else in my life right now i am doing this post backwards...

no i didn't....walk into my bathroom and find my SON wearing a aqua green ruffly skirt without his diaper trying to figure out how the tampon applicator works.all i could say was "ummm, son??!!"

no i didn't....hear my Emory talking to Isaiah about making their fort in the living room while they were scouring my house for props to build it with. she said "just work with me here little boy, is that asking too much"

no i didn't....buy twilight at midnight on the day it came out, for my daughter (and we have watched it 5 times so far)

no i didn't....play outside in a mud puddle with my kids after it had rained (i forgot how much fun it is to squish in it, i have spent so much time trying to get them to stay clean... so it felt good to just not care)

just some random stuff trying to fill the time while i figure out what i am gonna do with the rest of my life when i grow up.

thoughts for today while going through this "poo" time

When I am not doing something that comes from deeply within me, I get bored. When I get bored I get distracted and when I get distracted, I become depressed. It's a Natural resistance, and it insures your integrity. Marie Irene Fornes

loved this when i read it on NOLICOOL. i tell you, her blog not only has pictures of one of the cutest pigtail wearing little ladies usually in some colorful costume, but she is just so lovely to listen to. So full of fun memories (playing dress up, baking and days at the beach swimming, everyone all smiles) and sweet gestures (making amazing quilts for Peyton and dream catchers made out of butterflies and birds hung above Scout's bed) what a great mom she is!!! it shows in every post. And if you can tell that by reading a blog you know it just shines to those lives she touches in the real day to day of life. and i love it that when she is talking about something not so pleasant she calls it poo. wish i lived in the United Kingdom!!!

as you know by now i am depressed. i try not to just dwell on it because then i will stay that way. i did register for school so i will soon be on my way to becoming an EKG technician (never thought i would be saying those words but here i am) it's funny how things happen, really terrible things. but they end up being just what you needed. i never would have wanted this for myself. to say i am divorced and all that my kids will be going through soon, but while i find myself sad, it is the idea of being divorced that i am sad at. not sad at the marriage ending. i think that is telling.

i believe that you can tell someone's true character and faith in the way they handle a crisis.so it's not that i am not hurting or feel like a failure, in a lot of ways i do. but i want to be a better me. i want to like myself again and i want my girls to see that.....

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; [2] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Cause i do have a sense of humor right now

If you open this,FILL IT OUT! Learn 45
things about your friends,and let them learn 45 things about
you! Tag the person that sent this plus others.



1. Do you like blue cheese?
with my hot wings

2. Have you ever been drunk?
I would have to say...yes

3.Do you own a gun?
no...and my husband is very thankful for this

4.What kinda of Kool Aid was your favorite?
not a Kool-Aid girl

5.Do you get nervous before a doctor appointments?
nah.....had too many of em

6.Favorite Christmas movie?
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

7.What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Orange Jucie

8.Can you do push up's?
What is that? if that means can you push yourself up from your pillow in the morning the answer is sometimes

9.What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
a ring i got from a boy that used to love me

10.Favorite Hobby?
sleeping

11.Do you have A.D.D.?
most always

12.What is your favorite shoe?
my house shoes that my mom got me from the tractor supply store.....love em

13.Middle name?
Irene

14.Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1.)where is my son, he is too quiet 2.) i need a job 3.) when am i gonna wake up?

15.Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
orange juice, r and r, dr. pepper

16.Current worry?
me, myself and I

17.Current hate?
divorce

18.If you could write a question what would it be?
What did I do to deserve this?

19.How did you bring in the New Year?
Kissed Kaileigh which i have done while watching Dick Clark for the last 11 years

20.Where would you like to go?
honestly, my parents house

21.Name 3 people who will hopefully complete this?
i have no clue

22.Do you own slippers?
I'm a sock person.

23.What color shirt are you wearing now?
black

24.Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
no desire...

25.Can you whistle?
sure

26.Favorite Color?
purple or blue

27.Would you be a pirate?
maybe for a day

28.What songs do you sing in the shower?
right now "I'm Moving on" by RAscal Flatts

29.Favorite Girl's name?
Kaileigh or Emory

30.Favorite Boy's name?
DAniel, Isaiah, Adam or Alan

32.What is in your pocket now?
nothing at all

33.The last thing that made you laugh?
Emory....always

34.Best bed sheets as a child?
Strawbery Shortcakes...or the crazy hippy ones with the sunflowers that i shared a room with my sister

35.Worst injury as a child?
stiches my brother had to get cause i slammed the gate into his head (but in my defense he was chasing me with a knife over a twinkie he wantted)

36.Do you love where you live?
no and it is changeing soon

37.Who is your loudest friend?
Elaine and i love her to death

38.How many dogs do you have?
2...oh wait, do husbands count?


39.Does someone have a crush on you?
I hope so!

40.What is your favorite book?
The Bible...I am actually understanding it a lot now

41.What is your favorite candy?
whopers)

42.Favorite sports team?
I hate sports

43.What song do you want played at your funeral?
I was here by Lady Antebellum

44.Are you thirsty?
kinda

45.If you were going to be stuck on a desert island for 10 years who would you take with you?
my kids and my ipod- or I would not be stuck!!!! Trust me. I would die trying to swim to them wherever they may be...

I

Day 2 of the rest of my life

So i started the day by waking up late and getting Emory up and ready for school and then taking her to school.....LATE (which is a mortal sin for all good mommies) Of course in my defense, i don't usually take her to school and Dan does (but apparently that has changed, since we are no longer together, he, i guess has decided he is no longer her dad and has no responsilitlies of her) i will have to learn the rules of the new me and my life.

i got through the day by forcing myself not to stay in bed all day. Cause you can't really do that when you have a two year old running around painting his toenails (and your furniture) with your 11 yr olds blue nail polish or stripping himself of his diaper and running around your living room just looking for a spot to pee in.Don't you love parenthood?

i picked up the kids and we did the whole sonic cherry limeade, grilled cheese sandwhich picnic on the trampoline, building forts in the living room fun and then i was pooped and just made them go away......as much as you can make 3 kids go away (which consisted of me getting in the bathtub and hearing them come to the door every 5 seconds and scream MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY) so very relaxing huh!

after the kids faked going to bed ( i am ignoring the giggles) i talked to my sister and brother (which did not help) i don't want to be told it will be okay or why are you letting him kick you out of your house? i just want to pretend it is not really happening.

cause honestly i think i have known for awhile it not working. but i was so caught up in the way we looked and that i had FINALLY made a good decision in my parents eye's that i just overlooked the fact that we have nothing in commmon and have no passion anymore. we had kids.....and that is not enough
but i do grieve for them. not that they know it yet but it will be a whole new ball game soon and i don't know how to be the pitcher. i only know how to catch.

please pray that i find a job soon. and a place to live (that would be nice) and please pray for me to find some peace,,,,,








br>

it's really not that bad guys

So i realize if you don't know me you might think i am going through a really rough time. and i guess in ways i am, but in more ways than bad it is a light at the end of the tunnel (if that makes any sense) But honestly i don't think it has sunk in yet. i have always been the one that thrives in new beginnings and to me that is what this is. If something is not working i think you have to just try again. and i have always said i am a better me when i am single. marriage is alot of work. and it either works or it doesnt. am i wrong to not want to stay married to a man who does not want to be married to me? i hope not. i know that some will say i am quitting and giving up. but really i have been trying for a year now....a WHOLE YEAR...that's a lot of trying and crying and praying and changing. i just don't have it in me anymore.

so i am just gonna be me. and pray that if that is not enough that he can just go be him. and i can't say that i am heartbroken about that....yet. i have grieved for my marriage for so long that i just can't grieve right now. but when i am all moved out and moved on that might be a different story.

i went to "talk" to my parents about the REAL situation. i have covered up and fibbed about how happy we are and what a great guy he is because i thought it would work iteslf out. They knew i had left a couple of times but they had no idea it was to this point. i don't know if i even knew it to tell you the truth. but right now i just know it is over. i know there is no going back or fixing it.
and to tell you the truth i am tired of begging for it to be fixed only to be ignored and overlooked and pushed aside. it does take two does it not?

so don't be sad for me. you can pray for me that i find peace and acceptance and have the wisdom to make the right choice in a time that is filled with lots of decisions to be made, life lessons to be learned and growth as a human being and a mommy. i am a flawed woman with lots of faults, but i do have 3 reasons to make it okay. to go on and to be better because of it.

Friend Making Mondays...is it that time already???

Woooo....is it Monday already? I guess so.
And i have to say this is my favorite post. i love friend making mondays!!!!! cause who couldn't use some more friends??? today it is a game of question and answer. so here goes


Answer honestly!

What is your blogger name?
Wendy


When is your birthday?
Feb. 2


How long have you been blogging?
not sure??? i will have to go back and look (do i get points deducted for not knowing that?)


Who tagged you?
Kasey


Tell me your five most favorite body parts.
Seriously?
my eyes (cause all my kids got the same eyes and we always get compliments on how pretty they are)


What do you wish most for your birthday?
ugh....i honestly hate getting presents for myself. i feel guilty
but i love purses, rings and books if that helps


What color are you nails right now?
ahhh natural...with maybe a trace of kid boogers.. (gross i know but it said answer honestly)


Have you had any depressing thoughts lately?
well, since i am getting divorced and am homeless and jobless, it's a wonder i have not committed bodily harm to myself yet...but here i stand


What’s your plan for the next month?
ummm....job, home, divorce.


At what age did you have your first crush?
in kindergarten i was going to marry David Knolevicah


Have you attended any school reunions?
too many kids to do that


Have you ever passed gas in public and pretended like you didn’t smell anything?
i can say proudly no, i hate gas and will hold it till i am green and passing out. but you would never know it.


Are you a clean freak?
no, i am a slob

What era do you wish you were born in?
okay with what i have to work with

Are you a vegetarian?
NO NO NO NO NO

How many pillows do you sleep with at night?
as many as i can wrangle away from whoever is in the bed wit me

Are you a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper?
depends

Do you secretly wear granny panties when your man is not around?
this will be a too much info answer for you. but in the context of answering honestly i have to say i dont wear panties and only own like 2 pairs (neither of which are comfortable nor would i want to wear)

What is your ultimate dream job?
teacher, i think


What does your husband do that annoys you the most?
since i am getting divorced...he breaths


What is your dream car?
Lexus Suv


Do you wake up easily in the morning?
heck no...never

Do you like hairy men?
ummmmjm. no

How about a man with a goatee?
still no

Which would you prefer: a two-hour spa massage, a two-hour Thai massage, or a two-hour foot massage?
spa massage totally!!!

Have you ever wished you had a different name? If so, what name?
nope,

What is the most extreme sport you have ever done?
childbearing

Do you prefer traveling in Europe or Asia?
have not done either

What is your favorite food?
anything with chesse or sour cream

What is your most embarrassing moment while out on a date?
this will be boring cause i can't remember

You can just copy and paste my questions and answers onto your blog and then erase my answers and fill in your own!



Can't wait to get to know you all better! Happy FMM!!!

in all fairness

Okay, so as an update for you Real Housewives of New York fans, i posted Ms. Gold-digger....i mean Ms. Gretchens website link so I, in all fairness, must post Simon and Alex's site hopefully he will not post pictures of himself without a shirt on (cause that would make me nauseous) but at least they don't have a clothing line or book to pimp....yet.

so anyway, a more revealing post is soon to come, explaining what is going on in my crazy world (and it's life changing soul searching change) just to hard to talk about right now.

and if you have not yet, sign up for my Favorite Things swap go to the post and read up on the details, it is painless and fun and the more the better....

repenting...and i stalk my own blog

okay, so yesterdays post was kinda harsh so i need to back up a minute. i don't wish anyone a break up and having been through the whole thing at 19 i knoe Bristol must be heartbroken. i just wish her mother had been a little less vocal about the whole thing when she announced Bristol was pregnant. i do believe that you should never judge (at least not where people can hear you) because you WILL come back around to a time where you yourself do something others can judge. so you just should not do it.(unless it's a celebrity and your jealous then by all means, make yourself feel better any way possible)

okay, so i am a hypocrite. but i wish i did not judge (and that it was not so much fun to do) does the fact that i try to reserve judgement for celebrities and not "real" people make it any less mean?
didn't think so.

i recently added a live feed to my blog to tell me who comes by and i will shamelessly cop to the fact I STALK MY OWN BLOG. i can't help it, it is so great to click on the view blog tab and see who is checking me out. plus i have some blogs marked on my blog list that i do not follow so it is an easy way to read up on what they are up to. so there, i have repented and owned up all in one day.

as for my weekend,i am getting ready to go to ft.smith to "talk" to my parents. i have my speech prepared and my talking points all ready to debate and am expecting to be vicorious! oh yeah, and i need to look for a place to live. long story and i will update when i can expound more.

didn't see this one coming

As a teen mommy myself it comes as no big suprise for me to read this story just now. I will reserve judgement and comment and keep it to myself (as much as i dislike Sarah and would love to sing na na na na na na i won't)here is said story:

Alaska (March 11) — Bristol Palin, the teenage daughter of Gov. Sarah Palin, has split from her fiance Levi Johnston, who is the father of her 2-month-old baby.
Johnston, 19, told The Associated Press on Wednesday that he and 18-year-old Bristol Palin mutually decided "a while ago" to end their relationship. He declined to elaborate as he stood outside his family's home in Wasilla, about 40 miles north of Anchorage.
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's teen daughter Bristol has called it quits with Levi Johnston, the father of her 2-month-old son. Johnston said on Wednesday that the couple, shown here at the Republican National Convention in September, mutually decided "a while ago" to go their separate ways.
He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the Internet, were inaccurate.
Bristol Palin said in a statement issued through a spokeswoman for her mother's political action committee that she was "devastated."
"Unfortunately, my family has seen many people say and do many things to 'cash in' on the Palin name," she said. "Sometimes that greed clouds good judgment and the truth."
SarahPAC spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton did not immediately respond to requests for clarification.


The two teens are the parents of a boy named Tripp, who was born Dec. 27.
Sarah Palin revealed her daughter's pregnancy just days after being named John McCain's running mate on the Republican presidential ticket.
In an interview that aired on Fox News last month, Bristol Palin said her fiance saw the baby every day and described him as a "hands-on" dad.
The two had said they were considering a summer wedding.
It's unclear what led to the split. "It kind of just happened," a source close to the couple told PEOPLE. "I thought they would stick it out. But I think they can work together to raise Tripp."
Levi Johnson's dad, Keith Johnston, recently told the magazine that his son is a devoted and "proud father."

i really enjoyed the part about greed clouding good judgement.....hmmmmm?? was she talking about her ex or her mom? oh wait, i said i would not express palin opinions here so retract that last statement. in other news. really ticked my tv did not record the last few seconds of Grey's. so now i have to watch it online. ugh. thank heavens tomorrow is friday

FAVORITE THINGS SWAP

So awhile back I participated in the most fun little pick me up courtesy of my friend SARAH over at IT MIGHT SEEM CRAZY BUT WE CALL IT LIFE(the name kindof stuck out to me, clever don't you think?) so anyways, she had this fun little swap idea and i decided to do one of my own.
here are the guidelines she used and if something is not broken, why fix it. here is what she says.....

It's cold and in some places snowy outside.. everybody is waiting on spring.... how about something fun to do. Besides what girl doesn't like shopping and receiving packages!
Favorite Things Swap
This swap will work a little different then the last one. Below is all of the info needed!
1)Leave a comment informing me that you have joined the swap. The sign-up deadline will be March 25th

2) Send me an e-mail wendyiarrington@yahoo.com with the following information

Name, mailing address, blog address, e-mail address,

3) Purchase 4-6 things that are your favorite and put them in a box

Ideas: Book, magazine, food, make-up, recipe, notecards, pen, gum, candle, chocolate, coffee, nail polish, lotion, kitchen tool, .......

4) You will receive an e-mail from me with your swap partner and all of her information

5)Delivery date for packages April 10th

please make sure it's postmarked by the April 7th so your partner gets her box on time


If you want post about the giveaway on your blog so more people can join in on the fun!

The more the merrier. I did this in January and it was a complete blast. My partner was Jenny over at The McClure Family I got cool things like soft lips, a groovy chic scarf that my 11 yr old tried to confiscate, a spoon from Texas (i collect them stop laughing), a cookie cutter that cuts the crusts off my sandwhichs (BIGGG hit with Emory we use it almost everyday), some neat scrapbooking stuff, and then I got a pack of reuseable tote bags and a living green for dummies book (two things I never would have bought for myself but really am learning to enjoy them)

what was funny to me was that she included a postcard from Texas (and i sent her one from Arkansas with out even knowing we had the same idea) i made her a cd, and had to include carmex which i am addicted to. i put some other little things in there and it was so much fun to do. I would say about $20 to $25 is good and you should include things you love and it doesnt have to be about the money, it should be about the thought. a used copy of your favorite book, a recipe, a postcard with a cool or inspiring quote, a magnet. so many fun things that you can include and i can tell you first hand IT DOES MAKE YOUR DAY.
so send me your info and then pass the word around.What a great way to make bloggy friends! Sarah had 40 people in her swap how fun is that!

quiz

This is a real test given by the human relations department at many of the major corporations today.
i took it and really was suprised (my results are in bold) maybe i do underestimate myself but i figured i would score 51 to 60 range, not 40. but that is cool, i am okay with that.


It's only ten simple questions, so... grab a pencil and paper and keep track of your answers.



1. When do you feel your best?

a. In the morning
b. During the afternoon and early evening
c. Late at night

2. You usually walk

a. Fairly fast, with long steps
b. Fairly fast, with short, quick steps
c. Less fast, head up, looking the world in the face
d. Less fast, head down
e. Very slowly

3. When talking to people you

a. Stand with your arms folded
b. Have your hands clasped
c. Have one or both your hands on your hips
d. Touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e. Play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with

a. Your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b. Your legs crossed
c. Your legs stretched out or straight
d. One leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with

a. A big, appreciative laugh
b. A laugh, but not a loud one
c. A quiet chuckle
d. A sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you

a. Make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b. Make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c. Make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. Do you..

a. Welcome the break
b. Feel extremely irritated
c. Vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?

a. Red or orange
b. Black
c. Yellow or light blue
d. Green
e. Dark blue or purple
f. White
g. Brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie

a. Stretched out on your back
b. Stretched out face down on your stomach
c. On your side, slightly curled
d. With your head on one arm
e. With your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are

a. Falling
b. Fighting or struggling
c. Searching for something or somebody
d. Flying or floating
e. You usually have dreamless sleep
f. Your dreams are always pleasant






Points:

a b c d e f g
1 2 4 6
2 6 4 7 2 1
3 4 2 5 7 6
4 4 6 2 1
5 6 4 3 5
6 6 4 2
7 6 2 4
8 6 7 5 4 3 2 1
9 7 6 4 2 1
10 4 2 3 5 6 1





Now add up the total number of points.

Over 60 points: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care" You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 to 60 points: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 to 50 points: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 to 40 points: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 to 30 points: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

Under 21 points: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Kelly Bensimon pulled a Chris Brown

So recently i stumbled across this article about KELLY BENSIMON She is the newest (and most boring) housewife to be added to Real Housewives of New York



I could say many things about my opinion of her, none of which are christian or kind so i will save most of them. i do think she looks like a man though ( did not say that, i agreed with McMommy-she said it first). And what is up with the addition of all the NON-housewives? Doesnt the name imply you are marred (i.e. houseWIVES?)

It can't be for the drama factor cause the married chicks seem to be wayyyy more diva-ish, claws and fangs displayed and ready to get it on than the single ones are. But it never fails, there is one token single party girl every season.

And speaking of NON-Housewives good ol GRETCHEN has her own website. Complete with all her coming in 2009 projects like makeup,t-shirts, and lingerie. And it is hysterical to me that she has an O magazine on the header of her website. Not too sure what to think of the blog post of the eulogy she wrote for Jeff's funeral though.



She is very pretty, don't get me wrong, i just don't like her. kinda like my feelings for Kelly. especially since she pulled a Chris Brown on her 10 years younger boyfriend.

i kinda figured i would read about stuff like this coming from those Atlanta chicks. that show should be on VH1 not bravo. but you know i DVR every episode so who am i to complain???

FRIDAY FRAGMENT...IN A LIST

i just love posting in lists....so today's post was kind of fun for me. something about not having to think enough to make full sentences or follow any type of order that is theraputic. my therapist would make some big insightful observation about that so i will just save that for later. for now, on to my list....

it is a friday fragment post. i will admit that lately i have been meloncholy and really down on myself. so my friday will be full of fragments of things that make me laugh or that make me happy..... i will do my top ten

NUMBER 10.)Danel Isaiah-i especially love it when he says he wants to watch hoohee(goofy) and meme(minnie). Or when i go to check on him at night to make sure he is in bed asleep and he tells me groggily "no hobby mommy" telling me please don't make me sit on the potty anymore.

NUMBER 9.) Emory Caron- This little girl with her neck snapping, finger shaking, hip girating, prison or president attitude is almost too much for me sometimes. She is definately paying me back for my raising and gives my mother countless reasons to laugh hysterically at me. but i think i will keep her around anyways purely for the entertainment value.

NUMBER 8.) Kaileigh Shay- really had to grow up with me, i was a kid with a kid. And to my suprise she is just amazing. full of heart and compassion and kindness (except towards her sister)she is a really good person and i would hope i had just a little to do with that (and it gives me hope for the other two

NUMBER 7.) My husband Daniel-sometimes i actually like him as much as i love him. and despite myself he loves me too.


NUMBER 6.) My godbaby mama-yes that is what we call each other. She has saved me from myself more times than anyone and i dont acknowledge her enough.


NUMBER 5.) books (of all kinds) right now i would recommend without hesitation:




NUMBER 4.) MY BLOG (SHAMELESS plug but it's true, it is a contant source of fulfillment and amusement for me)


NUMBER 3.) There is something to be said for the girl who has gotten me in (and out) of trouble for the last 18 years. Not all my friends have gone through the revolving door and this one has definately been through alot with me.i promised never to publish online the pic i have of her with her hair ratted skyhigh and wearing the bodysuit and hoop earrings she would not take off in 7th grade, so this pic will have to do


NUMBER 2.) small i's. i hate to capitolize my i's.always have and always will and i know it drives people nuts (my English teacher mother for one) but i don't care. i love it....

NUMBER 1.)VH1
as i sat in my bed feeling sorry for myself most of this week, i realized how much time i spend watching this ridiculously trashy and hilariously funny- void of meaningful content tv station. I unashamedly (is that a word) watch it and constantly, not just from time to time. dont get me wrong, i watch other stuff that a normal person with a brain and morals watches. but these shows just crack me the heck up. and since they have like two people that make their shows up for them they are all the same but i can't help it, there is something about watching two not so well dressed ..ummm females? pulling each others weaves and wonderbra stuffing out over a man with 13 kids, ashy skin and a hugh clock around his neck. not quite the bachelor i know but loads more fun to watch.
man, that was a long ode to something that really means less to me than all the thing on my list but anyway, you get my point i like VH1


so there you have it. my friday fragment post. most of these were not a shocker as i post the same list basically each time i have to do a list on my favorites but oh well, it took up a full post and i am not whining about how sucky my life is so it's all good.