cloudy with a chance of rain...

I have often wondered who you are (you,reading my blog). I have wondered what your motives are for following along as i attempt to process all that is thrown in my path? and do you get anything out of my musings?

I will admit lately I am stumbling along waiting to get it all figured out. I have held on for so long to the ideas that I am a victim and innocent at that. That I was unwanted and easily replaced and that I did not really fit it anywhere. Just call me bitter, resentful with a side of whining.....

it just has to stop now. and as hard as it is to wrap my head around change (as much as I love it) the only way it can stop is through me.

okay, so that was the easy part. saying it. now how do I go about doing it?

now would be a good time for those big girl panties....

okay, I can't take on quite THAT much but you get my point.....

I recently went to Hobby Lobby and while browsing for more junk I don't need   priceless treasures I found a small plaque that reads;

"life is just a place to grow a soul"

I wish there was a place you could go to order one of those. ummm....i'd like to be honest, kind,compassionate, funny and witty with a side of healthy sarcasm, mellow, strong, wise, inquisitive, giving, a good listener with a little reflection..... and could I get a side of fries hold the salt with that please.

okay, so it doesnt work that way I know, but as I look over that list of traits I see that while I don't posess ALL of those things I can claim some of them.

Really all you can do is learn to be comfortable in your own skin. That what I have to give not be accepted by everyone but by shutting out the people that are there to recieve I am not being "careful" I am being ignorant. And by holding on to things that I cannot change I am not being "cautious" I am playing a role. the v word. and I am not a victim.

this kind of started with a message from someone who had read my blog and it made me just start to think about who all really does read my blog and what they might take away from it. More than anything I just want to be the kind of girl that is known as a good and loving mommy, someone who lives life as it comes and learns along the way, someone who is better than she was before and only gets better.....